Hey

So, i’ve been up all night. It’s been great fun, and had a lot of laughs.

I tend to dodge people rly, kinda. I feel that I get the best out of them when they are lighter, then they tell what is bothering them in a way Ima get.

I feel this is the better way to do things. So I suppose it’s okay.

It’s kinda hard in waitrose, there’s like an air in there. It’s a challenge getting around. I feel less self esteem at this; idk even if that is true.

Idk what else to say.

I had a good day, down ferry meadows. Then I went to the doctors; had a good talk with two girls at the CPFT, showed full empathy and understanding, and promised to be there for me or 111.

This w the first time in my life that I had felt love, where I cared for another human being. It w hard, tho worth the wait.

I fell to my knees down ferry meadows feeling that my feelings around severe abuse as a baby were correct. It took a while to run through them. I thought I w gonna be late for my appointment.

I suppose caring for another human being is the best in return.

The day went smoothly, and I w occupied all day.

I went to the hostpital thinking that I had maggots. I found the stench of them there so bad that I came home for fear of making myself very ill.

It w funny. There w this bus driving past, and it looked like the driver thought the bus w a big long maggot, like he had got maggots and they were playing w his mind.

The people in this town are funny.

I stayed on the other side as much as I could; I felt that people tried to devalue me for like just not wanting their energy. I felt they were all a lure, all of them.

I’ve been having these feelings like a woman is not allowed to leave the home; and that is why I get so many looks from both, who just want to take me for granted. I feel that is why they do

Idk wth is going on rly. It’s new to me tho I am who I am and I like to go out, never gonna give that up. Ima feel that Ima just go do it like Nike says, whatever the weather.

Here’s to being free to feel safe when f out

Kirsty