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My name is Kirsty

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Hey

It’s midnight, I have my coffee

I have a plan, for w Ima do, to get the business to work; tho I’m not saying it’s gonna work tho.

Open the Facebook app, select create new account.  Go into Meta For Business, and log into another account, then check, link Facebook account, or not, Idk.

Hopefully, when using the Insta app, it w take me to the Facebook app, when I need help.  Should I need to access Insta on browser, I’ll have to log into business.instagram.com.  Actually that w be the way that I get Insta to access my business account.  It’s the only way to do that, I feel.

I pride myself on not worrying about these things, when I am not actually doing them.  See, the problem, rly is that there are too many ways to solve the problem, and my mind c go round and round all the different ways, not settling on one; coming up w all this bull sh, why the way I have in mind, may not work.  The mind is a funny thing.

I’m excited to be coming off my medication in Jan, I feel.  It w mean that, I feel my feelings more.  It w be like lowering my age by about ten years, actually, bc of that shift in my internal state.  It w be amazing.

Anything that brings me closer to my goal age of twelve, is a good thing.  Then Ima look at the consciousness that I’m in, and be able to assess, my actual present physical age.  I’m hoping that that step down, into my teenage years w be the next step.

I w achieve this, by, just following J’s commandments all the more, creating neurogenesis w|i my mind, multiplying the number of neurons that I have.  Eventually, it should end up w the number that I need for being in that reality.

It’s somewhere that I’ve never been before, being a teen and not giving older people shtick.  This is weirding me out already.

Tbh, I feel the threat of me ruining my mental age, by unloading on someone is actually the present threat, and not something that w be a problem then.  I w be past that point and safe in my, secure in my, reality.

That w kinda make me believe that I am actually in my teenage years rn; and that w take me to a younger age, where I just got on well w my olders and just had a rly peaceful existence w vibes galore.

It c just be that the medication is making me think that I’m not in kid reality.  It covers up feelings, and w cover up the exact feeling that w lead me to believe that I am in that reality, kid vibes.  Like I say, I’ll soon k if I’m already there.

I don’t think so tho.  I w in the bathroom w a bunch of teens and I just felt that in my mind and my mental state, I w nowhere near them.. kinda.  Obviously I am hella more near them than a bona fide fifty year old

Maybe the growth of neurons is exponential.  That the more I have, the more I grow, launching myself into that zone, w such speed and velocity, that I just feel swooshed away into it, w no warning or anything, it just one day just goes into overdrive.

I w thinking w physical symptoms w accompany this opening of the hedgehog pathway; w is the biological system that drives the neurogenesis.  It drives also, every single system in the body, like the immune system and all the pathways that heal the body, and take care of it.

I c be looking at greying hair just becoming actually blonde, w is w I used to have as a teen, or at least a streak of blonde at the front.  I c see my wrinkles just disappear overnight, as all the old cells just get taken up back into the body, digested and replaced w new ones; like I say the hedgehog pathway driving this cell renewal.

I c notice my arthritis in my hands just disappear.

When I w in my twenties, I think w when I first noticed arthritis bc of cracking my knuckles.  It w strange, bc it w move from one finger to the other.  I must keep an eye on it.

And the rly f up thing about all this is that, I feel that I’m seeing these changes, and have been seeing them for actually about a year; in the way I look, w I see in the mirror.  It looks like cell renewal, bc I have gone from haggard af to quite attractive, I feel; a massive change in my appearance; w grey hair just gone, out of the picture.

I must maintain this; by making sure that I am kind to all people, and not taking anything anyone says to be mean, when it wasn’t, I feel.  A lot is at stake, I must have youth and not let anything get in the way that could send me back to fifty.  I’m taking this very seriously, and at the same time, not worrying about it.

To cut a long story short, youth is mine already if I just work at accepting it more and more every day.

I have no problems w the way I look or the way my body performs, other than needing that teen vibe so bad; my memory telling me that it’s not big deal.  It w kinda like being a baddy, just being into all kinds of shady things, and having that indignation that there w nothing w w any of it, wondering how people c be so flaming self righteous; that anger at the world and the overarching majority of people.

It’s the freedom of not judging anyone or anything, turned in on itself and used to judge everyone; the beginning of the self destructing, reality destroying zhè, that leads to the twenties and being and adult, actually one of them.

Like I say, it’s gonna be weird to be a baddy and not have those feelings about everyone.  That’s why I say, it c be akin to a much younger age, even than a teen, w the peace of just not being at odds w anyone.

I have never been there and don’t k how this w feel.  I’ve been a young kid, tho I wasn’t developed enough at that time, to be able to look down on all and sundry, it’s a mash.

It’s A Mash

K

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