Hey

I w thinking.

I feel that I w a pathological narcissist.

I think the only thing that saved me w my psychologist telling me that I wasn’t bc of the amount of work that I w putting in to healing from my anxiety; and being a better person.

I w speak to other people that are the same, who are trying to heal; and are seriously f up, that it is possible.

Ik that I can’t say this. Ik that Idk that I w. I w just say that the key is pain and suffering.

I feel that I literally suffered that much that I got better.

Ik it’s hard when every day, several times a day I w getting a panic attack bc of what I felt w rude peoples’ behaviour.

Honestly the torture is unsurpassed. Tho the reward is just as good.

It’s five years down the line now. Five years of absolute agony, Ima be real w you… And now when I get triggered it’s mostly something that doesn’t phase me enough to forget items when I go shopping.

I just had to say this; that the pain, it’s not for nothing; it is for the prize; and the prize is for me to feel my feelings; yes I feel them.

I don’t feel them when I am around other people; tho I do feel them when I am alone; so it is absolutely one hundo possible to get rid of the anxiety; tho like I say, through levels of pain that very few could bear.

To The Pain Being Worth It

Kirsty