Hey

Christmas w a roaring success. I went to dinner at St Mary’s.

It felt easily as good as dinners at home w my family when I w a kid.

There w one girl, DJ Lucky. I wanted to k her for longer tho she lives Up North. She said maybe one day w w meet when she gives me back stage passes.

I totally hold this to be true as she w have her dream. She feels that G is a good time.

I also had a super nice walk Christmas morning. It w actually sublime.

I put myself out there and w so happy I did. Also feeling that people w dissing me w a challenge tho I’m glad I went there bc I see that it is something that I need to conquer as opposed to shy away from.

When I work my new volunteer role, I w be around a similar situation and I w love it; I think I’m addicted to putting myself out there.

It w also give me the chance to meet hella loads of people.

In Other News

I feel there is a part of my brain where the messages are struggling to get through. I experienced this when I woke up this morning.

I struggled to become aware. I hope that this w heal, just like my ability to read and comprehend healed.

Another reason why I w never go back to my abusive, I feel, family.

I c never go back to my abusive family I feel as I have too much to lose now.

I am waiting for the business to fire up. I won’t hear back from my offer till after Christmas. I w have to post my ads in the new year.

Idk whether they w allow my the keyword for my ads that I want. They have something against a lot of their competitors. I’m trying to not worry about it.

I realised that if something is wrong per se then it probably is a good thing.

When a person is full of shame they, I, go around looking for morality, looking to believe that all their actions are wrong.

I have let go of morality and use the feeling this feels wrong and ignore it in making many decisions.

Shame is essentially the feeling that everything you do is wrong. So to combat this, I just feel that I am doing is wrong and am happy about doing something wrong.

This has been huge and allowed me to get through the Christmas dinner.

Many times I felt that it w wrong for them to talk about me like that. It helped that I thought that wrong rly wasn’t something that I w bothered about.

I feel that it is my frontal lobes taking over and if I ignore these feelings of wrongness they w eventually shrink to be real about it, and stop producing these feelings.

It’s working like gangbusters.

To Letting Go Of Right And Wrong And Focussin On W Is Right For Me

Kirsty