Hey

I feel that I’ve been in quite a hard situation. I’ve had a psychopath and a sociopath for neighbours, and had a bad work situation for years, where no one wants to fw.

My self esteem tho w never high enough for me to move on tho. I always thought the problem w me that I didn’ t deserve them.

I’m trying to keep this light today and free of judgement… So let’s dive straight into racism.

Number one, to talk about it is to be it.

I had a few racist feelings for a few days.

It w bc these two n’a women just started on this snow girl. I guess I w horrified that human beings could treat someone so bad.

It taught me that anyone who looks badly at any race is a racist, even me; and that even pointing out racism is racist; both for these two momen and for me to look at them that way.

To not be racist is to be pure, rly. This is what it had given me.

I had tasted that purity, and k that it w who I w. Then these two women came along and blew all that out the water, w emotional abuse.

I’m trying to not worry too; presence is where it is @, it truly is.

Then I noticed that I needed to keep my place tidy as it w preventing me from being present when at home.

I’ve been having these feelings Ima die and I feel it’s bc of the mess in here; so I did some tidying yesterday, and the day before.

The centre of who I want to be has changed. I now see myself as someone who has a tidy home.

I am depressed and find it hard to do tho it is my intention.

Ik that it w give me the energy I crave.

I w looking to the business to give me that; tho I w get it even w~o the business if I just keep my home nice.

Talking of the business

I’m getting sucked into other ways of making money, nearly. It’s crunch time.

It’s time to find out whether what I am doing w make any money. I’d say it probably will.

I remember forex trading and having the same feeling that this w not work, and then it did.

W forex trading it w the indicators and strategy that said it w make money; w this it’s the numbers they just don’t lie.

Waiting waiting and more waiting, for them to approve their offer. It’s actually driving me mad.

A Day In The LIfe Of Me

Kirsty