Hey

I am so happy that I tidied my flat up; it feels amazing in here.

I w thinking about maybe going on insta; and showing my place off, when I move to London.

People think that it’s all people showing their perfect lives and trying to make out that they are happier than they are. It’s rly just people who are good at doing life.

I get how it c seem shaming to someone who hasn’t sorted things out yet; fill them w feeling like they are not good enough.

Society has the propensity to just look down on people.

Just rly counting down the days till I get my Apple Watch.

If someone has a trade and they are happy, then shouldn’t that be shown to people.

Shouldn’t they be able to feel that vibe that I felt when I w a teenager when I looked at the guys doing home improvements on Discovery Channel.

Shouldn’t they be able to feel that they c have it all. Shouldn’t they have not only hope, tho a real feeling that they have it rn, bc it seems so real to them.

I tend to go out walking now.

I had my heart rate taken like ten years ago and it w in the forties. My friend called an ambulance tho it w bc I w doingn like seven hours of walking every day.

I have to testify that walking is the best exercise ever if it gets my heartrate down to that level.

I remember this and want to do walking and make myself healthier.

It’s harder in the city centre, it doesn’t feel as safe, especially under the pass; and all along the area where it’s just a path that is totally boxed in.

I imagined that I w in the army, a Royal Marine Commando; and I w going into danger, just like on the ad, I felt well hard.

Idrk. I’d being feeling like Ima die so regularly and just thought f it, Idek.

I’m just waiting to be approved for the offer.

First I have to… Have two factor on my account w nearly made me cry and made me scream out f off.

I can’t believe I have to do that again. They said I had to try it again and then and only then c I have it removed.

Then Ima put my bank details in and have a fully functioning account.

I’m scared I c be rejected bc I haven’t done this; so I need to get it done today. I didn’t want to do it yesterday bc it w the sabbaath; and I w just sitting there feeling like I had already made it.

To Feeling Like I Already Made It

Kirsty