Hey

I had a good chat with a girl from Awin yesterday; and sorted everything out.  I had so many fears and problems and talked about them all.

It seems that taking rly is the answer, tho I w recommend doing it in text chat and not email as this is infinitely better.

I got refused for the offer I applied to.  It said that there w nothing on my website that w complimentary to the brand.

I w have to apply again, if they’ll let me and wait another month; before I can run ads and then another two months before I see any money.

I like the phrase failing forward; it describes it perfectly.  I just didn’t k what I didn’t k.

I am trying to spend around nine pounds every time I go to the supermarket.  I am managing to do this w means that I can make ends meet.

The North Face jacket that I want w be on sale soon, so I w be able to get it; w w be nice, I love to look nice.  There is also another one and hopefully that one w be on sale soon too also.

I’m desperate for some money; and it has hit me hard that I have to wait another month before they accept me.  I long for to not have to scrape all the time

I long for the Apple Watch 10 in gold or some small sign of wealth, so that Ima feel self esteem around what I am doing.

I want to feel like I have a trade and that I am doing super well at something.  I deserve to have that feeling.  It feels amazing and I want it.  I just want to feel like a worthy human being and I feel this w help me do that.

I am glad that I am not on the busses anymore.  I always felt like I w being treated like sh.  So many people w serious empathy impairments saying horrid things about people.

I’ll give you a clue.  This couple were gloating about how their son died, drowned when he w on his way back to them, bc he w gay.  I kid you not.  This is the kind of evil I am hearing, from so many people.

It w rly hard to listen to that and it messed me up for hours.  That is why I w never go on a bus unless I had to.

They felt he had zero value as a human being bc of being gay and were rejoicing at his demise, disgusting, off the charts offensive.

And saying that doesn’t seem to do it justice as to how abusive they were as parents.  And they were those nicey nicey types who on the surface look like they have never made any kind of mistake their whole lives.

This is the type of abuse I feel I deal with from my family.  That is the level of abuse I deal with; the strength of the feeling to which they hold that I have no value.  It damages my brain it is so offensive.  I just can’t