Hey

I got my CalciumAlphaKetoGlutarate come through the post.

I w scared to take it; bc it w from a website that get’s its stuff from China.  I just took a tiny bit to make sure it w safe then took a little more today.

I found that when I took that stuff I felt like I w old.  So I decided to just take a little bit.

It kinda does like… if I take a little bit it w just prevent damage to my DNA.  It w prevent my DNA from getting any older.  What it does is it reverses biological age.

For every ten months a N’a be taking it it be reversing that person’s biological age by ten years.

I watched One Of Us Is Lying again.  G I love that program.  I love the way it feels when they are at the Bayview High; I love everything about the characters.

My neighbours are fighting atm.  He just got rly mad and she told him to calm down.  He w in a rage and she just spoke to him in such an ice cold way; cold blooded.

I am going to a group.  It’s quite far to travel; and it’s the first time I have gone.  I’m scared that there is like some way of signing up or something that I haven’t done; and they won’t let me in.

I rly need to go.  I have a lack of people in my life.  I have a lack of things to do.  Often there is nothing on that day so I just have to stay home and chill.

W The Business

So, yes, I applied for the offer.  Fingers crossed.

There is a pair of trainers that I want and the only way Ima get them is if I get some money coming in.

My jacket from TheNorthFace has not come down to forty percent off yet, and it’s a little bit stressful just waiting as Idek if it will.

I mean, last time w this other jacket I got it at that reduction so I’m just hoping.  I may grab it at thirty if it doesn’t.

Hey

Just came back from Patangue.  It w great.  The best part w having coffee in the hut.

They were all super welcoming; and I felt respected, with a warm sort of demeanour.

They were all nice people, as they spotted the coldness of someone, as they were talking about at the hut.  It w nice.

My social life has taken a step up.  I now have Patangue a couple of days a week to go to; w is super.

I had to walk through Ferry Meadows tho bc there w a race on; w w nice bc… it w just nice to see all these lovely people running, and the guy who was like ushering, drk what to call it, smiled at me, looked like he w having such a nice time; saying well done to everyone w w running past; even said Hi to me.

I hope the business makes money soon.  My self esteem is right at the point of someone who is making a good living; I just need the business to catch up.

Everything in my life seems to be working.

I w thinking, kinda journaling, that I had had a huge knock back.

I had invested my time, years, into friends who didn’t want to spend any time w me.  Eventually the whole thing fell apart.

It w my first foray into like having a social circle.  It fell flat on its face so it’s no wonder that I felt a lot dejected.

It felt like I w a bad person for losing my job.  I mean look at the evidence I had no one to fw at all, totally alone.

W~o laying blame it’s something that just happened and doesn’t actually mean anything, aside from the fact that I tried and tried hard to connect with them.  I respected them for years.  It wasn’t tenable from the start; that’s not my fault.

So I am trying again to get close to people and mean something to them, and maybe form a close friendship w them.  Idk how close they allow themselves to get w people.  Idk if this w be possible tho Ima try.

All the while seeming that I need money to connect w them; in a meaningful way.  It’s sad as it goes against what my late friend told me, that it doesn’t matter about money when making friends.  She must have had a super blessed life.

Maybe it’s true and we can do some other stuff together, Idk.

I used to have lots of friends when I was at school and just after.  It w nice to have a large group like that.

I lost them all when I lost my job when I w a teenager and I never seemed to be able to pick myself up after, Idk.

I just suppose that Uni seemed more important to me than friends, and I went full tilt straight into that.  At least I had been successful at something.

My self esteem was woefully inadequate for Uni tho, tho I did okay.  I w never have been able to do research in Chemistry tho.  I w have needed self esteem for that.

Well my social circle is expanding; and that is my main goal for the present, so I am happy.

Kirsty