Hey

I had a good day today.

Yesterday w super tough.  I felt like I deserved to die the whole day, and that it w gonna happen.  It w horrendous.

Today w just well different.  I felt good all day.

I started off w knit and natter.  I feel so amazing w I’m around the girls.

In the book You Are A Badass; it says that you are only as good as the five best people you fw.

Maybe this is true from the point of view that now I am fw the people in the groups; I just feel like Ima do anything.

Like I feel so abundant, like I… Idk how to explain it.  I feel like I am wealthy, I guess.

Maybe it’s just that they support my self esteem, and how I see myself.

My self esteem has grown the whole time I have been running the business.

I have learned that there is only one difference between wealthy people and everyone else and that it is that they stick at it; and never give up.

I started to allow myself to feel that no one w better than me.

I learned that wealthy people were just the same as everyone else; what a crime it w for some people to think that they were better than other people and that if they tried that w me then I w just reject it; as one human being has no more value than an other.

Some people w be punished by G; tho they have as much value as everyone else.  It’s right to love everyone.

And at the other end of the scale, those w more are no better.  You can’t allocate more value to any individual, especially based on the fact that they are greedy or deem themselves to be better; as that is really a major flaw in a person.

The fact that they are misguided into believing something just makes me feel that they are sick, and I rly don’t worry about them; they are not better than me.

I am treated as an equal by all the people I fw.

This is different from the situation I am from.  I always felt less than like all the time w them.

I feel that it is my new position w new people, that has allowed me to feel this new self esteem; hence the coming up of the memory of what it said in the book.

Only being as good as the five best people a n’a fw; it’s rly just down to the fact that they just support that person in feeling like they have value.

And boy do I feel valued.  I have been given wool and knitting needles from many of the people there and it actually is quite moving how I have been accepted, and welcomed.

I supposed best in that context is supposed to mean successful; tho it can also just mean valued.

Ik I am right where I need to be.

I feel like I struggle w connecting w people, like a closeness.

Tho Idk; I mean I w on the phone to my housing association; and I w having a rl nice chat w them, so Idk.

I just yearn to feel close w someone yk.

I am working on this all the time; that is why I have started the groups, I want to be able to feel close to them.

And again, it w so moving for them to be so kind.

The business is going super well.  I w looking at my landing page, and it rules.  It’s like dope.

I feel I have done the right thing taking my time w it.  What’s most important is my ability to feel that I got this; and that comes from only fw it when I feel like I am relaxed to do it.

And then I w on Hostinger; and I realised that I have a rly nice landing page, and that I, one hundo, got this; I could see it right in front of me.

So I just chilled and held that energy for a while; feeling that I had hit it right out the park.

It w such a nice feeling; and then later I had another titivate at it, and added some more text.  It’s looking rl nice now.

I understand that a nice landing page actually increases conversion rate; w in English is the amount of money that that page makes.

The affiliate network, Awin says that I should get 50p per click, tho this c actually be more.

An ad sends n’as to the landing page.  Those who click through to the merchant’s website; every one of them w net me 50p

This sh sets me on fire w Idk, like lust for hitting go on my ads.  Ads are cheap and can cost as little as 1p.

I have been passionate about this for long enough for me to just oh G it just lights me the f up to be close to hitting this; many years of work teaching myself how to do this.

I suppose that my self esteem is mine, I have earned it.

I realised that I am in the Kingdom; the kingdom that J talks about, that comes from following his commandments.

Like it literally did w it said on the tin.  I followed them, I got into the kingdom, albeit like five years later.

That’s what I’m talking about when I talk about self esteem; and the people allowing me to feel that I have value.

It means so much that I got there.  It feels so amazing.

Like that light-worker sh… I don’t feel that gets a n’a there.  Imo J’s commandments are the only thing that lead to this.

I believe that they are the false prophets and that they only lead to the love of money.

Having a trade and being passionate about something and making money from it… well that doesn’t make me better than anyone else, as much as those fools who are snobs feel they are better than me.

That’s why I don’t fw the false prophets; it all leads to sin.

There is nobody in this life who a person can point to who is better than anyone else, we are all evil.  Those who exalt themselves are not justified before G.

To Self Esteem And Having A Trade

Kirsty