Hey

So, I’m a racist; I’m not rly

Yea; so I decided to feel my feelings.  Idk I’d kinda gotten to k that this w the healthy thing to do.

So I just felt so pi off w these two racist people I had seen in the morning.

I leant into this.  I went right into my feelings.  Then when I w leaving in the morning I felt like a racist; so I canned it.

This kinda made me think that J’s commandments were right; and that, Idk it w wrong to feel feelings.

Tho, being such a fiend I had another go at it.

I felt how depraved to treat me like… to try and use psychological bullying to manipulate me into having sex w people at work, I feel.  I went into my feelings and I felt that there is seriously something w w my boss, and the man I worked w.

I don’t want to go back into my feelings bc I just got out of them.

Idk.

Tho I felt so much better in myself when I had felt my feelings the second time.

Idk, maybe if I just feel them a little and then let it go.

I’m right at the point where I just don’t k which way is right.  J’s commandments say not to judge and contemporary psychology says that it’s like the most important thing ever.

J does also say tho that a n’a has to be humble; and that humility w have me just accept what most people think w is that feelings are like, yea, as important as I just said.

To Be Continued…

In Other News

The landing page is looking good; tho now I may have to change every image on the page so that it is aligned w the product; Idk I might leave it the way it is.

I am so close to the people I work w now; and that c be bc I felt my feelings.  It c have opened me up.

I spoke to my friend; and told her that I felt like I didn’t deserve to be alive.  I honestly feel that that w w allowed me to feel so fantastic the next day.

I remember saying to myself that if she has a problem w that then she’s not rly a good friend.

I also have come to accept that people are swine – there w this lady, if Ima call her that who had a go at me @ Ferry Meadows.

I simply have somehow figured out that some people just don’t pander to their bu sh; just ignore them entirely.

Previously every single n’a on this earth, I valued their opinion and w panic if it sounded like they said something that was manipulative, like I had to listen and obey it or something.

No

Just ignore them; as the lady at Waitrose told me like last year.  Some people are not even worth paying attention to.

This is super freeing and I feel is another result of listening to my feelings.

I think I might be out the get, out the prison of psychopathy.  Idk.

I refuse to feel that men are little critters that won’t behave when they are out.

I’m kinda waiting for feelings that they are… Idk, feel miffed at them to say the least worthy.

I remember being stuck on that they start all the wars; a while back.  I don’t want to go into my feelings rn so Ima not go there.

Tho I am expecting all kinds of feelings to come up now that I have opened up the floodgates so to speak.

All sorts of uncomfortable sh.  I’m scared to feel my feelings; even tho they make me feel so good when I do.

I don’t think that they w lead me to being a bigot.  I’ve hit the nail on the head, that is exactly w I am scared of.

Tho my experience w being miffed at racists from other races; just led me to realise that those feelings only lead me to becoming exactly what they are.

Yk what’s the point of feeling feelings just to reject those feelings afterwards.

Idk, maybe I felt them too long and went into them too much as I w new to feeling feelings.

W my boss I just had a short interlude w them and then let it go.  That seemed to work; still scared that I’m a bigot, tho not rly.

Yea, so, feelings; supposed to be brave, and yea, just don’t want to feel like a bigot.

Kirsty