Hey

I feel… I feel like the business is gonna work.  I feel self esteem.

I’m kinda scared of losing my beauty when things work out; like I can’t handle it and am mean to people or something.

I have seen so many people lose their beauty.  I don’t know what happens or how it happens tho I kinda feel scared of feeling too big for my boots and maybe that’s what’ll do it.

The way I look is rl important to me and it is my highest priority; as it makes me feel so good.

I feel that my self esteem is tied into all this.  I feel that should I lose my beauty I w lose my self esteem as well.

My self esteem is the thing that matters more to me than anything.

I’ve been thinking about saving my capital and investing it in the forex market.  I want to be a benefactor.  This w be the way that Ima give the most.

I can’t wait to get my CBD doob from Amazon.  I have my pineapple express already.  I had to dab my lemon diesel into my mouth as the doob I have rn has stopped working.

I just want things to carry on the way they are.  I no longer have this pain inside where I feel like I need something to change so that Ima feel better in myself.

I just want things the way they are now.  I hope they never change; ever.

The only thing Ima want is to meet people and fw them.

The people I have rn are rl super to I want people my own age; and I want them to be fans of contemporary psychology, also.

I love the way the younger people respect everyone and I want people in my life who have embraced this fully.  It means so much to me, I love it.

I want to be spending time w people more; I think.  I w like to have people to hang out w w no pretence of a club just me and them, like one on one.

The clubs I am going to are the best ever tho I w like to be close w someone.  I actually like to juggle friends and have a few people who are my besties.

I remember being very happy w the people I w fw when I w younger; tho I got into erm smoking things that lowered my self esteem.  I had such a good life and lots of friends.  I guess the stuff ruined all that.

I’m now looking at getting my life back and this is rly the only thing that I w definitely wanna change.

I’ve also got things that Ima do like the fuel cell and the graphine transistor.  I love business and want to do more.

I want to take my income and hire a lab, and build the thing; the graphine transistor also.

Once Ima show people that it can be done they w want to make one themselves and my patent w just make a lot of money that I can do a lot of good w.

Business makes me happy and that is why I want to do it; albeit Chem research more than business.

I want to get an honorary degree from a prestigious Uni also.  I never finished my MChem, and w love to have the esteem.

After that Idk.  Maybe settle down and have a family w the right person.

I definitely want to come off my medication as this is the only thing that I am missing.  It leaves kinda a hollow feeling inside and the need to do all these things just to feel whole.

I want to settle down and have a family and just be content w that.  I especially want to enjoy Christmasses w my children and wife; have friends over and just enjoy things.

I already have made connections w people and these mean the most.  I now want to fw people who want to be more close w me than that; people who wanna hand out at mine or theirs.

I remember when I w a kid my friend used to come over w the computer and w w play games; things were so good.  I also used to hang round w my brother in his room and our friends.

Most of all I want to be employed; I want to have the feeling of supporting myself.  I feel all w click into place when this happens, even coming off my pills.

I think my psychiatrist w be so jealous of me that he w have no choice but to reduce my medication.

To The Future

Kirsty