Hey

I w on the phone to Apple today.  Their mouse pointer w invisible on certain backgrounds.  He said he w send it up; w w super nice.  It’s good to k that people care; and that they take pride in their products.

I am rl close to posting ads.  I have pretty-much finished the website.  I just need now to delete certain elements of it that are not needed.

I am not very well today.  I w talking to the woman at the bank; and she said that lots of people have been having problems this week bc of the full moon.  She said that lots of people were being verbally abusive also.

I asked about a mortgage; about the interest on one and how that works.  She just said that it’s charged monthly at the rate of the mortgage; w doesn’t actually make sense bc she said the interest goes down and how can it be both.

Yes; I’m not myself and I have been taking pain killers all day and like had a strong coffee as well; and some CBD w w rl nice actually.

I still managed to get a lot done tho.

The time is rl running near where I w be posting ads.  I’m excited.

I hope that I am better tomorrow bc I w like to finish the website; tho I feel that I w probably be ill for a couple of days.

Then I have to stop on Sunday bc it is the sabbath.  I never work on the sabbath.  Ide like to work at the weekend, period.

I w loving the self esteem that w coming from feeling that I had a working business; tho now is the time to actually run it; and feel that self esteem that comes from rly supporting myself.  I’m super excited.

Oh, I had a beer as well; this headache just wouldn’t shift.

I have run out of Marlboro now w means that I’m back to just blogging after a vape and a tea.  I don’t want to buy another pack as they cause cancer; even tho I w only smoking one a day.

Or maybe I will get another pack, Idk.  There’s just this fear of having more and more; it is such a nice feeling.

Smoking is way better than vaping unfortunately.  Idk why they just don’t put the chemicals that make it feel that way in vapes.

It’s the same w vegan food.  They put in all the flavourings from meat so it tastes the same.  They can get a map of every chemical that is in meat and search for the ones that taste good.  They c do the same with cigarettes; boy that w be amazing.  I w literally smoke all day.

Yes; the mouse pointer doesn’t show up on grey or brown; at all.  I told them this and they said they w definitely get it sorted out.

I get to go to Pétanque tomorrow; w I love and it w be nice to be around people as I have been on my own since Tuesday.  Especially w not feeling so good.

I also found another way to get back from Ferry Meadows; w is a much nicer ride and less bumpy; tho the flies at the lake are super bad; I have to close my eyes while I ride.

The Curcumin is going super well; and I feel like I am not at all depressed; except for being ill and feeling low.

I have been on it for about four years now and it takes this long for the depression to disappear; and then on top of that I need to take a high dose to feel not depressed; every day.

It is a lovely time of year; and I am enjoying being outside.  Sometimes I just sit and I chill.  It’s well analogue and it’s the best feeling ever.

I grew up in a time w~o phones; and it rly is nice to just exist, yk.  And my feelings are just getting more and more like they were when I w younger; and back down the rowing lake, I… I started to feel close to normal; and it w super trippy being back down there as it w always my happy place.

It’s rly trippy how my feelings are coming back.  I rly have so much faith that they w return fully and I w be just like a teenager again.

Yk adults can f off w their bigotry and bull sh.  It’s an absence of these that allows that reality to land on me; tho the old are super nice too.  There is a vibe at the knit and natter that is no utterly nice and I love it.

To Feelings

Kirsty