I went to knit and natter today. It w nice; l love it. The weather has been nice here for two weeks and it has been great.
I w working on my landing page. It’s not that hard, just putting the things that is says on the website for the main three points; the best things about the company, and the products.
I’m kinda getting into the swing of landing pages; it’s not that hard.
I rly need to run my first offer. I need to k if it is possible to make money at this; or at least try. I need to be able to say to myself that I have tried; at least once, and am making my way towards success.
As I said before, in my other entry; I mustn’t delude myself into thinking that this w work this time. I mustn’t allow myself to tell me this bc of my low self esteem and thinking that this w repair that. It only leads to much hurt when feeling the feelings when it doesn’t work.
I mustn’t allow for it not to work, I must accept that. I am ready to run more ads and see if it does.
In Other News
I need to improve my empathy; towards myself.
This has been super hard, and I am rly trying. I need to be kinder to myself and stop thinking thoughts that hurt me. It’s like I am feeling for what is right to think; and it’s actually expanding my mind and my feelings and awareness to do so; w in turn gives me more empathy to make it easier.
The more I feel, the more I enjoy my life. It serves two purposes; makes me kind to myself tho also allows me to feel w is rly going on when people say stuff, to laugh or whatever and rly feel it.
It is through this that I k that it is improving my feelings just all the time and that it helps me to feel good; w rly is the goal. I love this process and it is a beautiful thing. It feels like I’m coming alive.
I hope to get my scooter fixed and w get the brake wire to that Ima give it to the mechanic so that he can fit it; and hopefully that w solve the rear light problem.
It should do as it is the only wire that leads out to the back and everything else works okay; that thought kinda chills me out.
The reason the business is so important to me is that I need money to work on the fuel cell; and the Graphine transistor. I need to be doing more and making more of a difference in life; or I have low self esteem and just need to feel worthy, Idk.
I do feel low in self esteem. I don’t feel worthy; and I’m trying to boost it. Idk why I feel this way. I wish I could fix it. I guess I have always been this way all my life. I suppose if I had friends who fw me then it w be okay.
I must never forget that my life is okay atm and value the people in my life, and everything that I have. I do feel super grateful.
People treat me rly well. I had something stolen from out front, and the guy who sold me it is sending me another one, w is super nice. Also my Nike trainers never arrived and they are refunding me the money; w a fifteen percent off coupon.
There’s something missing in my life and I think it’s people I vibe w. I just can’t be myself w anyone, share w is rly going on w me. I kinda have to have my walls up bc they w just gaslight my experience; and that’s not good, I don’t need to be feeling like what I have inside is not worthy of sharing w people, yk.
Tho I have been seeing some rly good stuff on YouTube and this makes me feel less alone. I just yearn so badly to meet someone.
It’s hard bc Idk where I w go to find the right people, like where do dope people congregate, Idk. I just feel like people don’t have time for me yk. I suppose this is how the people I hang w are leaving me feeling; and that is why I must move on, tho Idk where to move to, like how Ima meet less invalidating people.
It reminds me of a passage in the Bible where J says that the house is swept clean and put in order and then seven spirits more evil than the first take over, and the condition of the person is worse than before. A good reason to stick w the people I am w until the time is right, yk, not go out of my way to find more aligned people. It w lead to being led astray like f.
I want to feel safe. I feel that where I am living is hot helping. I do have the chance to get out and this is the first thing Ima do, and w probably lead to the change I am looking for.
To Change
Kirsty
Miss K 