Hey

I did so many drugs yesterday; I hope my cold  has gone and that I don’t need it today, it makes me feel guilty.

I need to do my washing.  I have not done it for two days bc, I realised it needed doing in the evening when I needed it to be quiet.  Atm it’s too early in the morning.

I have spent all my money for this month so need to be rly careful.  I’ve also got coming out of next month, getting my scooter fixed.

I had to grab my trainers before they sold out so this prompted me to buy.

Luckily I had ordered a pair and they had not arrived, so this had paid for them partly already.

I got sent the CBD doob.  The guy gave me a tracking number.

This makes me feel rly special that when a package doesn’t arrive Ima get another one sent or get a refund.

I bought some Guinness to drink at the weekend, tho I feel that the Camden w such a good bc I w sitting in the pub, drinking it.

I don’t like that pub mostly tho.  I don’t like the people sitting in there.

I w getting a headache all yesterday and that is why I w taking all the paracetamol.

I have to wonder if it w bc I took my flu jab and my Covid at the same time that maybe the flu jab hadn’t worked.

I did well yesterday not eating too much w I’m rly proud of.  I feel I’ve got insulin resistance, and I don’t want it to turn into pre diabetes; then diabetes.

It’s a challenge bc I wake up in agony sometimes and need to get up and eat something to make the pain go away.  Last night I had a piece of fruit, then coke, then a biscuit.

It w at St Andrews, a mental hospital for rly ill people that they gave me too much medication and caused it.  The world is rly evil.

I started looking for offers, for my business, yesterday.  I managed to find one.  This w a good note to leave on.

I checked things too many times, like my cooker; and this led to me forgetting whether I had checked it when I left, as it always does.

I had had the guys in, denying me having my washing machine taken away and this had upset me; and I didn’t know whether I had left it on when I gave my friend a cup of coffee.

I have nothing on today, so w go down Ferry Meadows, and have a walk round the lake.  I also need to pick up my package that got sent to Waitrose.

I’m thinking of doing lawn bowls instead of the pétanque that finished on Thursday.

I rly want some money coming in so that I can talk to people down Ferry Meadows.  My self esteem is so low atm that I don’t feel worthy enough to talk to them.

I feel it’s bc it’s such a narcissistic town.  It shouldn’t matter whether I’m successful or not tho I think it does here.

I so want to move out of this town tho just don’t know where to go.  I tried London and rly wanted to live there, tho I feel that it’s a dangerous place and that that might get to me after a while.  Literally any place in the UK w be better.

I just feel that people here are not in touch w their feelings and that should I fw anyone w wouldn’t have anything to talk about due to them gaslighting everything I say.  I’ll be honest, I feel that they’re all emotionally abusive.

I looked up the nicest places to live in the UK and it just came up w the wealthiest.  Why are people so basic.

I suppose places to live are like the U3A.  There are so many, like I literally have the whole country to choose from and it w be lovely staying all over the country to find out where I love living the best.

This is something rly super to look forward to.  When I find that there are nice places everywhere this w make me feel a lot better about this country.

I just got to thinking that I w never have believed that this c be my life like five years ago.  Had I k it, I w have never felt so bad when I felt people had been rude.

I honestly felt that people were prolonging my illness by being rude all the time and keeping me in anxiety.

I feel bad about the court case in Scotland about gender.  I feel it’s just bitter old people being mean to trans.

Kirsty