Hey

I looked to see how my ad campaign w doing.  It is actually working.

I think it goes straight to my landing page; w w mean that it should be profitable.

This is great news and means that I am looking at the other, goals I have in life; w are to play bojonga and get a yard for charity; create a fuel cell that doesn’t cost the earth; and, do the first attempt at manufacturing a Graphine transistor.

Compared to these goals; making a little money online w be quite a small one.

I wonder if I’m going against everyone w my authenticity.  It’s not the way people do it.  They go to university for years and then only stay in their chosen field.

I don’t do it this way.

I just watched a video on hypersonic flight and the SR 72.  The world needs these things and as people want them, Ik that I’m actually going with everyones’ wishes.

If it takes a little disregard for the normal education process then that’s okay w me.

Just to be more balanced in my blog, I must say that I have studied Chemistry Part One; so these things are in my field.

Ik from that experience that doing research is not actually a learning process it’s a problem solving  one.  Doing research is like starting from scratch, no matter what has been learned beforehand.

So I am well placed to get on w it.

I also believe in teamwork and would like a lab in Cambridge so that I w have the connections to get help when I need it, and boy w I need it.

Asking for help is something that I am totally okay with and it gives me great pleasure in receiving that help.

Having a business has taught me that people are only too glad to help.  The amount of problems that people have solved for me has rly stacked up.

For example; I couldn’t resize images in the Constant Contact App; so I asked if they could make it possible for me, and they did.

The business working w solve all my problems rly; tho it is just one of the little steps that I have taken in my self esteem.

I thought that it w give me this huge self esteem boost; tho like I say it is just a little increase; just like all the other little increases along the way.

That is why I say to people to believe in self esteem.  If your mind tells you that you are dope, just bc you believe it, then your mind is telling you the truth.

I touched on a while ago how doing something difficult increases self esteem; so when you have a win, even if it is that you believe in yourself more bc of it, then those are the biggest wins of all.

I remember when I thought that I c nail affiliate marketing bc I had found some urls that should come up in a search.

I remember walking around Thorpe Road, and CIty Centre just feeling so worthy.

Those were just my self esteem telling me that I w ready to feel that I could do this.  I never took those urls anywhere.  Idek whether they would have worked, looking back.

Self esteem never lies.  Again, I w just ready to see value in myself.  If you see value in yourself then your mind is not lying and that value is there.

The numbers saying that the business w work, are just one of these jumps in self esteem.

You see the work I did, the hard work w believing in myself every time that I felt more capable and experienced.  Those jumps are every bit as meaningful as this small jump I feel now the numbers say this is rly gonna happen.

And there w never be this almighty jump in self esteem when the business makes money.  By that time, the self esteem is already there, due to all the little jumps along the way.

Believe in yourself, believe in yourself, believe in yourself; and when you feel it, trust it.

Like I say, it doesn’t mean that what you are working on w work, it just means that you are closer, as your mind is telling you.  Trust it and bathe in the joy of the feeling.   It is the self esteem you have built up that w take you where you want to go.

It opens the mind to the possibility of winning and actually gives you more bandwidth to be able to hit that goal with your mind actually working better.

Yes, the self esteem actually makes your mind function better and is what is needed to figure it all out.

It’s a beautiful thing.  Again, it makes your mind work better so that you can do the thing you put your mind to.

In Other News

I’m off to Ferry Meadows to have my traditional Sat Sun beer.  I have a pint of Guinness to take w me that be reward for all I have done.

It no longer feels like an exercise in visualisation when I have my beer.  I w now be visualising the Graphene transistor and the fuel cell; or just have a break, and enjoy myself.

It feels good, it feels so good.

Ik that problems w come and that I may have something else in the way, tho I feel capable af and k that Ima do this.

I mustn’t allow myself to feel that I have done this as the money hasn’t actually landed in my account and that means that something still could go awry for a bit.

It causes pain when something goes wrong then and makes me feel like Ima never do it.  Best way to escape this feeling, maybe, is to just say, yep something’s gonna get in the way, maybe.

Like I say, it has just made me feel that my other goals are more w~i reach.  I want to change the world and change peoples’ lives.  Authentically it’s just who I am, and I honour that.

I get to allow myself to be that person, someone I have wanted to be for a while; to identify as that person.

That is half the challenge w visualisation.

I used to do my Positivity And Affirmations W Gratitude Happiness, every day, and this allowed me to believe that I w that person.  More and more I identified as that person, making it my goal to step into that role one hundo.

Visualisation is the key, absolutely; so believe in your value.

One day I just took a whole day to just feel the energy of I’ve got this; and I deemed that day to be one of the most important pieces of work I have done, and still do.  Energy rly is that important.

Doing challenging things increases self esteem, and self esteem gives you the ability to function at a level where it seems almost easy.  It did take hella long time tho.

You see I had to change fundamentally w~i, actually become someone w the ability along the way.

You Got This

Kirsty