Hey

I had a dream about the fuel cell, that the world needed it and that there w no time to patent it.

This is actually not true bc it w be the fastest way to get it out there, as if it’s not patented then it gives someone else the chance to steal it and take ages working on it.

My dream felt like women care more about the planet more than men who only care about money.

It has made me think that the time is right to get the fuel cell out there and it w probably work the way I have designed it.

It tells me that there w be shortages of fuel soon, that petroleum w start to run out.  Tbh I think it has already, there is a global shortage.

I think the shortage c come from left field.  I think that as countries develop they w be using billions more cars and this w cause global tension of fuel as already there is not enough.

I feel the way I always felt in my dreams tho I am awake.

It is clearly w I need to work on next and put the Graphene transistor on hold.

I have a way, hopefully, to make a little money, like four hundred a month.  This w be enough to afford a patent as it is only like five hundo.

Then it’s get a lab in my home.  Idk whether this w be possible as flammable gasses are not allowed in homes anymore.

It reminds me how the law rly doesn’t k sh.  I suppose once it is patented it is protected and that means that say someone goes into the lab and tries to steal the idea.

It’s all kicking off rly and Ima expect to be making money soon.

I think it is my destiny to be doing all this.

I want to see Africa being the largest producer of hydrogen.  All they do is fight and some more wealth w ease all that tension.

I think that is where the free world goes wrong.  They feel that keeping resources away from developing countries keeps them from being able to overpower us, where if they had sufficient resources they w not be so desperate.

I feel that as there are so many n’as in this country, far more than before, they w lobby for Africa to have more resources.

These kids w have to grow up and fight for change.

I heard it said that an American n’a is rly your brother if you are an African.  This clearly shows that this is true.

In Other News

I have to just live my life the best I can.  Idk whether doing CBD is helping me.  Idk whether it is too many drugs on top of nicotine and caffeine.  I have a feeling that it probably is.  Tho Ima carry on smoking CBD.

Sometimes I am not well.  I feel that it is me catching every cold and flu going bc of being schizophrenic.  Some days I am just not able to do anything.  It’s frustrating bc I just want to get on and get things done.

I’m a lot healthier than I w tho.  I used to not be able to go to any clubs at all.  I w roll up and then just go home bc I w not up to it.  I just couldn’t be around people at all.  I used to just walk round Ferry Meadows all day.

Ik someone who is suffering from the same thing.  She used to come into where I worked occasionally, only to ring in every single time to say that she w ill w something.  I hope she gets better as I did.

Tbh I don’t like voluntary work.  I don’t like the people who do it, I feel they are all pathological narcissists.

I like my clubs and like the people who do them.  They are nice people.  I feel that they are able to mix w people in a social setting, whereas the people who do voluntary work are completely closed off.

I wasted years expecting friendships to form and they did not materialise.

Tbh the people who do clubs are closed off as well and as soon as I am healthy enough I w be moving on to having close friends.  Idk where Ima find them tho Ik that I will.

It’s about having faith.  I kinda hope that when I have some money coming in I w be able to talk to people I find dope.  This is a highly narcissistic town and it is not possible for money to not be an issue, and class.  I don’t feel it’s a very nice place.

It’s the other way around as well, if someone has money then they are ‘stuck up’.

I suppose that is why I feel pinned to a certain class here and not able to move between class boundaries.  I’m scared that if I stay here I w be stuck in the class that I choose and not able to change for life.  I feel that I am being forced to choose a class and that class is lower class.

I don’t want to be a bigot to middle class people and feel that this is being forced on me.  I don’t want to be stuck in lower class.

This is one of the costs of joining groups, is that I have to adopt their class level.  I don’t like it.

Now when I go to London I feel that I am not accepted bc I have had to adopt a class that I don’t resonate w.  I just want to get the f out.

I should be able to move between classes when I have some money.  Tho the same is true… I w be stuck in a higher class.  G the world rly is a pile of sh.

And adults think themselves so f righteous for not being racist, when they are huge snobs or anti snobs.

Maybe like I say, this place is just so f bigoted, boundaries up the wazoo.  Humans are so f basic.

To Escaping Class Boundaries

Kirsty