Hey

I had; have, to do my monthly expenses today.

This is bc I am doing Permitted Work; w hopefully w allow me an income while I recover from schizophrenia.  It may even be my main source of income.

It fills me w excitement for the future.  I have my psychiatrist tell me that he feels that I no longer have schizophrenia, or a personality disorder; and I also would like to take my Permitted Work to a proper income.

I am needing to k how to create a landing page, one that w actually lead to sales.

I got the email from my merchant, and I have been given resources to look at that hopefully, if they have understood me right, w give me the material I need to create a profitable landing page.

I hope that this happens soon.  I want to stick w the offer I am doing until I have made it work.  Lots of people make this merchant work for them.

I have like a person I am under tho when I told her that I w scared of having my business method stolen from me, she gave me no further communication w I take to be a red flag.  It w be nice to be able to ask her how to write copy that converts for my landing page.

There must be some kind of trick to it and that is what I want to learn.  This w be a skill that w be invaluable every time that I need to promote an offer.

In that way it w have been the most wonderful thing sticking w the offer I am doing, until I have made it work.  It w mean that all future offers w work as well, and I w actually have a working business.

I get that on the face of it this seems like it w take longer, tho I have the feeling that it w be the way to skyrocket my income.

I need to search on Google or AI, how to make a profitable landing page; or just browse through the content that my merchant has given me.

I need to do my expenses for today, this w be the task that I am set.  It needs to be done soon or I w not receive any support for the month.

Self esteem does it’s work; always.  When I feel value in myself I feel that it actually increases my mind’s capacity to give me the answers I need, mostly through asking the right questions.

In Other News

With the medication, things are working, to my actual great surprise.  I have no positive symptoms, w are things like hearing voices.  These usually come about for me when I am lowering my medication.

Idk if that is absolutely true.  I don’t rly think that that happened before and it w actually stress that caused my relapse.

Tho things are totally okay and I’m grateful for that.  I dream of being able to come off my medication and things are looking good for that to happen.

It feels like a lifelong dream, it has been so many years.

I feel that they never should have given me the medication in the first place.  I w fine when I came out of prison and w totally cured from the schizophrenia I w experiencing due to no longer having the stress of being there.

They then gave me medication when I didn’t need it and I feel they, that, did a royal number on me and messed me up actually for well over ten years.

So it’s nice to be finally off it.  Soon.

It may have to wait till after the winter tho, bc this can only be done in the spring or summer and it is summer now so I might not have enough time left in the year to come down all the way.

This is fine tho, he has told me that I haven’t got schizophrenia and that is good enough for me; it totally is, it’s been something that I’ve wanted to hear for a long time.

I feel society has a way of pushing certain people down, like in the story of Lazarus in the Bible.  He w a beggar at the door of a very rich man, who never helped him.  And when they both dies Lazarus went to heaven and the man did not.

I feel that the reason that Lazarus went to heaven w bc he w pushed down all his life by people looking down on him as this destroys a person’s self esteem and means that they can’t value themselves enough to get back up.

Lazarus had soars that could have been healed had they been bathed and dressed and w not able to work bc of this, and that is why the rich man never went to heaven bc he had been instrumental in keeping someone down, probably out of feeling that he had no value as a human and didn’t deserve it.  Boy was he wrong.

I guess Lazarus tried all his life to get back on his feet and w never able.  I feel elated that when he died he w raised up into a lovely life where he had all the things he needed and the rich man w left w nothing just like Lazarus had.

I feel in this way society keeps people down, through robbing them of the right to feel self esteem and if I’m real w  you, I feel this is w happened to me.

I have, had, G’s commandments to get me out of the position I w in and I guess that Lazarus did not.  I am lucky.  I am even luckier than Lazarus was, bc I have seen my exaltation in this life and not in the next, and it is in this context that I am grateful for my psychiatrist to tell me that I am healed.

Maybe people in my life w be treated like the rich man and w be punished for allowing me to go onto the medication in the first place, tho that is purely speculation; and all those who looked on me like I w completely worthless.

I feel that my mom w go to hell.  J says that those who cause my little ones to stumble will feel like they have a millstone hung round their necks and are dropped into the depths of the sea.  I honestly believe that this fate is what awaits her when she comes to the end of her life.

I guess I do believe in G punishing people and this allows me not to judge as it is not my responsibility who suffers from their own behaviour and actions.

I do however feel that anyone who harms will be harmed as it says Judge and you will be judged and do not condemn and you will not be condemned, illustrating that the way people treat others is the way that they w ultimately be treated.

This frees me to just let judgement go and leave it to G.  Judgement is something that causes me anxiety and it is good to just let it go.

Do Not Judge

Kirsty