Hey

I got a flat.

Ima have to get it done, w w take a few days.  I’m on the bus till then.

I judged.  I did.

This man screamed at me and I allowed myself to judge him so that I didn’t judge myself.

Problem w that my psychiatrist has been trying to get me to judge people.  I took his advice and leaned into it.

I realise that I made a mistake; and that I should no longer judge people.

It’s kinda dicy, maybe; bc I w prone to judging people.  That w my biggest problem.  Now I must just feel like.. be clear that I must try even harder to not now until it has faded.

It did help at my appointment today tho.  I got on w the nurse even better.  It’s weird rly.

Due to getting a flat, I must have my beer at home today.  I tried to get there tho she w going down and I just thought it w be easier to return home.

Like I say, I’ll order a repair when I have done this, just wanna get chill first.

He’s a rly nice bloke and I love getting him to do my stuff for me and he does it super cheap.

I have taken a break from the business as I am doing my taxes.  It’s hard to stay in the flow state when I am doing them so I w totally forget about it for a little while.  I may have to pause the campaign.

Tbh I think I am overreacting rly.  I w be able to do both.  I’ve just got like this thing where I keep thinking that I should have done them last year.  When I figure out for sure that that is not true I w be able to fw it and do the business at the same time and be back in flow.

I still have to tidy my home.  I am cleaning out a cupboard this time and tbh it’s the best thing ever getting stuff like that done.  Honestly, my heart sings when I think of the girl who comes round to help, from the housing association.

It has changed my life tidying up and I’ll never be the same; hopefully.

There w this post on Tumblr like eons ago; and it said, don’t underestimate the ability of tidying your place to un f your head.  I w love the quote the person who said that tho I have no clue.  Tho Ik the truth of this and she/he w saying something super dope when he put pen to paper and told the absolute truth there.

I c not even do the business w the mess I w living in and for sure w never have felt Mayfair vibes yesterday.

The Mayfair vibes w come back and I return to not judging people and I’m rly looking forward to them/it.

The good thing is that I don’t have to judge myself for judging people; that w be judgment; rather poetic.

I’m just opening my beer.  It tastes good.

I need to find more clubs to fw.  I have a million different options to try.

I got past the point of rejecting every source of these clubs online as not being my vibe; rly they all are.

My heart also sings when I feel the energy of not judging anyone, especially my neighbours.

Honestly it is the highest pleasure to not judge.  It is a thrill like no other and all I have to do to feel it is nothing bc not judging is doing nothing.  That makes it the easiest thing in the world and the most chill.

Honestly, not judging is exquisite; af.  I w recommend it to anyone; rly it is the best that life has to offer.

To Not Judging

Kirsty