Hey

I went to Pétanque.  It w good and I won a few games.

It w nice to get out.  It has put me in a good mood.

I want to find more things to do bc they rly are the shizzle.

There is a Bowles club and I want to check it out.  There are so many things to do that Idek where to start.

So I have gotten over judging people; and I’m back to normal.

It’s kinda about faith.  Ik that J’s commandments have healed me from my illness and therefore Ima have the faith to continue to follow them.

They have totally upgraded my life and things are good now.

J’s commandments rly are the best.  This may come as a shock tho they are super dope as not judging is totally where it’s at.

It’s kinda nice that they have this effect.  Like when I started to follow them I felt that they w answer all my problems; tho it’s quite a shock as to how dope they actually are.  They have turned me into someone super dope.

And it’s just the thing that gives me the greatest joy in all this, again, is not judging people.  Honestly it’s so much of a sweet thing.

I have met loads of rly nice people and they fill my life w good times.

It’s also super healthy to fw loads of people and it is actually healing my personality disorder as my psychiatrist says and I grudgingly admit.

That is one reason why I want to f do it so much more, bc of how good for me it is.  Like one more club in the week w be perfect.  Then I w say that I am being exposed to social situations enough, and I w have the maximum benefit from it, from them.

Idk whether my psychiatrist w lower my medication in July.  I’ll have to cross that bridge when I come to it; tho Ik that good things are happening.

This is all bc of J’s commandments.  My life is good now.  They have made things better for me.

Maybe should I follow them and document my progress that might give people a picture of how they impact a n’as life, yk.  Tho from my point of view they rly have made me exactly the type of person that I w w to be.

Ik what they have done for me and should other people be curious they a read my blog and then it should be clear exactly what kind of changes I’ve been through.

And the pitfalls as well, like how I had to reject general psychology when it says to feel every feeling that I feel and validate it.  It just w a problem bc it made me judge people; and I want to bring that into the open for people who are curious about my whole world.

I feel like a kid; like the proper reality for someone my age is being a kid.  I mean, Ik I’m an adult, bc I take responsibility for my life and don’t put on people; tho inside I just I feel that I’m getting younger and younger.  Like this is a kids reality.

I mean I w one once and this is like the same, rly, tbh.  It doesn’t bother me like why w I think that’s something to be scared of.  I love feeling this way; and fw young peoples’ stuff on YouTube is such a thrill for me.  The fact that Ima get what is going on at my age just is not something I take for granted and feel it is all J’s commandments.

Yes it’s trippy that commandments that J gave like two Millenia ago have done this for me and he says that anyone who becomes like a little child w enter the kingdom of heaven.

I’m just being honest.  And the f up thing around all this is that that feels like exactly w is happening to me.

I always wanted to be young again, ever since losing it as a twenty something bc I feel of narcissistic abuse, or maybe I w to blame also, tho the fact is is that I lost it and always wanted those feelings that I had when I w a kid back again, like all my life.

I didn’t get to have a life I feel bc of just how I felt and who I w; and when all this came along I thought that it w give the chance to live the part of my life that I feel I should have had, over again; and it has, it seems.  That is totally the way it’s going.

To How Dope This Is

Kirsty