Hey

One of my neighbours died recently, like a couple of days ago. We used to be tight, but when I gave up drugs, we stopped seeing each other  

I was upset, this morning, so I rung the Samaritans to help myself calm down.

I’m down ferry Meadows right now.

I stayed away because I don’t have very strong boundaries and I didn’t wanna be taken advantage of; though I spoke to him literally a couple of days ago just before it happened, and he was telling me how he’d even given up the methadone. He was doing really well in it warned my heart to hear it Like me taking him many years to sort himself out.

I think I was woken up by it last night; somebody was kicking in the door and I just grabbed my phone and phone the police. I was on the phone to the girl for a minute or two and we kind of stopped and took stock and she asked me what was going on and I found myself looking out the window ; and there was like an ambulance there in a police car and I told her that and yeah, she told me that they had attended the area.

I went downstairs in the morning to find out what was going on. I saw two of the guys and I went up to them and we went in a circle and one of them told me that we’ve lost one of us. He told me about the time when he saw me when I was locked out, and he said to me like, any time you need anything or if you just wanna talk pop round we’ll have some wine or something.

The girl on the Samaritans; she told me that, it’s a good thing that it takes so long to get to know people because then you know that you can trust them. You know I was just saying how how how much time it takes like you get into social groups and it just takes time you know. 

Unfortunately, this is the third friend I’ve had who’s died.

I’ve got a few things that I’ve Gotta get done. I’ve gotta do my taxes. This just means like going on the webpage, winding it, and changing the tax year to the earlier one I think that’s what I’m gonna do with that for the moment. And then I’ve got to I’ve gotta arrange getting my scooter puncher fixed. The business needs attending to, but it’s gonna take awhile like I’ve just got other things that are more important for the time being.

I forgot to take my medication yesterday; and this morning, I just I was wigging the F out. My psychiatrist wants me to come off my medication. This to me there is a warning, and I really do need to make sure that I’m ready.

My home needs tidying as well. The girl from Cross Keys; she’ll want me to, like get the bits done that she she has asked me to, so I’ve gotta work that in as well. 

I’ve also got to find another club to go to. There’s like millions of different ways and websites and ways to find like clubs and I don’t even know like which one to go to 1st, though that needs doing as well. I guess I’ve got a lot on my plate.

This is how I like it, I like having lots of things to sort out 

I’m sitting here speaking into my phone, because I’ve left the batteries for my keyboard at home because I was charging them 

I’m rapidly getting pretty tipsy 

I’m just gonna dump my car in the bin and get home. The buses are every half an hour so I’m just gonna head to the bus stop. I’ve done enough walking today cause it took me 35 minutes to get down there and it’ll take me 35 minutes to get back so I’m happy with that. I’ll just pop to the shop get some shopping and that’ll be it.

I’m Sad

Kirsty