The weather is totally gorgeous today.
I had a little anxiety tho it passed; and now I have that amazing feeling that comes afterwards.
It’s when comes rushing in the reality that life is good; it just feels good. I suppose life feels fair or something.
Life being what I make it is actually a scary thought.
On the surface it seems like a good idea, like be a good person and things are all hunky dory; tho there is the other side to it and that means that it’s constant trying and working to be a good person.
I used to think that when I slipped, people w only be too happy to see me go down that spiral; now I feel that they are in support of me even when I f up.
And it kinda hurts to feel that people got me after a lifetime of not even knowing; knowing that people can support someone just by wishing them the best; and they all do.
It’s about energy. When people give that good energy to me, they are giving me the greatest gift of all; and it’s about being in tune w that energy and therefore being able to accept the gift.
Energy never lies. I have noticed this w the business. Every time I have felt that I deserve to have this, I w right.
Self esteem is not a con. When I feel that I am.. when I have value as a person, that is always correct bc it is never wrong to feel worthy.
That w all it w, just me feeling worthy.
The fact is is that anyone is deserving of it if they learn that trade. The business model itself does not discriminate. The only thing is.. that, it may not turn out to be something ethical enough, for me.
There is a lot floating around on my feed; tons of business models being shown to me, w the guy saying that he is not like the rest of the gurus.
I am at the point now where I don’t feel that I need to change direction. The truth is that.. they take a long time to get down and probably fw them w actually slow me to my goal of being profitable.
Heaven k that this business model has taken a hot minute to get good at. I have learned Hostinger and Google Ads, and Ik that that knowledge w do me well; so I’m out of the starting blocks, that’s all Ik.
I just had avocado and rice and it w delightful. I have to say that going to the trouble of boiling it makes all the difference; w just a little Kikkoman soy sauce.
I accidentally poured the rice in the bowl w the avocado so I had to get it out.
Being social w people has got me to the point where I am having things to do all the days of the week. I’ve rly stepped up to the challenge, grabbed the bull by the horns and just done it.
It has lessened my anxiety being around people, just as my psychiatrist w say, he does like to bang on about how I healed bc of literally doing exactly that; and he’s right and I can’t thank him enough.
To be balanced in all this, I must say that I still have emotionally unstable personality disorder.
In Other News
I felt like judging, like a titchy bit of harmless judging, tho I thought that it w lead to like a bit more then a bit more, and then I w have started to feel less value w|i myself as I just..
You see the mind doesn’t k the difference between me judging myself and me judging others. It’s the same part of the mind that does that job. So when I practice judging people, I am actually just counting down the timer to when I feel less value w|i myself.
This w the right choice. It elevated my mood to rl heights.
To Mood
Kirsty
Miss K 