Hey

I avoided being scammed this morning.

I had a message from what looked like lizzielestrange ASMR.  I whatsapped her and thought I w talking to her.

Something didn’t feel right as talking to her w no fun, so I put it down to the fact that I didn’t k her.

She started asking for money tho and I thought I w just check that it w actually her; and it wasn’t.

So I contacted Lizzie, and let her know that someone is scamming on her channel.

I Feel kinda sick and hope that she doesn’t stalk me as she has my number.

This happened before where this horrible person w ringing me all the time from a withheld number.  I had to change my number and lost my paypal account.

On the plus, the photo I took for her w rly nice and I might even put it on my blog here.

My having less caffeine has worked pretty well and I don’t think I w go back to having that amount.  It’s just so damn addictive

I thought I had the self esteem to fw someone like that.  She seems like a nice girl and I thought that I’d finally got to the point where Ima start fw people who have my energy.

I remembered that I had said that it meant a lot that she had taken the time to talk to me.  I feel she had ASBD as that w quite a big lie.

She probably loves getting the adulation of people rly respecting the f out of her, thinking that she is someone else.

I mustn’t judge.  I just feel bad for her that she has this illness, and I hope that I made her happy for a little while.

In Other News

Idk how to use the AI landing page copy creator.  Idk how it works or what it does.  All Ima do is just put the copy that I have into it and ask it to kinda refine it and put it in better words that customers w like better.

Tbh it w kinda fun being scammed this morning.

J says that the sun shine and the rain fall on the righteous and the wicked, w is true.

Ima be honest while I’m feeling like it.  I long so hard to talk to the girls who do the ASMR.  I love them so much and they brighten my day; and I hope that one day I have the energy to talk to someone like that and have them in my life.  The fantasy w rl nice while it lasted.

I also got kinda scared.  It just hit me, that people feel their feelings, that they feel that the more they go ignored the more they build up and one day w come gushing or busting out of them.

This frightened me a I w worried that I’m actually making myself ill by not judging people, and feeling whatever the f is going on w me.

I just want to do what is healthy and all I have is something that w written two thousand years ago.  I don’t have J himself to talk to and ask whether I am doing the right thing.

What I do have is how much my life has improved since following them.  I have turned it all around.  I now have lots of self esteem and feel like I can talk to people and get on w them.

Everything changed when I started talking to people.  I started attending clubs and w around people quite a bit.  It totally helped me; it even allowed my psychiatrist to downgrade my diagnosis.

I feel this is all bc of J’s commandments; tho like I say I’m scared that they c be harming me.  I’m scared that they are to harm, even tho they have been the most precious gift I have gotten in my life and tbh I don’t think I c ever go back.

I don’t think people follow them.  I think that everyone at church doesn’t keep them.  Idk what they think that the point of the Bible is tho I think they are missing it.

They are set out by J in the bible that they are something that should be followed.  He says that it w lead to his kingdom and his righteousness; and they have done that for me.

I have no complaints.  Like I say they have been the sweetest gift, allowing me to feel young at my age, and look quite nice too.

In my heart Ik that I shouldn’t even be speaking against them.  It’s just hard that everyone doesn’t feel that they are what they should follow.  I’m going against the whole planet.

They are working for me tho, they rly are; like a charm, like gangbusters; like I love G so f much for giving them to me in the first place and Ik that I am not worthy of him telling them to me.

Tho in the gospel of thomas he says that I do not give my secrets to those who are not worthy.  I’ve got serious imposter syndrome.

I have a business.  What if it works.  What if I have a dream life.  What if I start fw girls who are like the ASMR creators I love.  It w only be that I deserve to be around them.

The juxtaposition of who I used to be when I w super ill and who I am now is just too much to handle.

No one w k the power of J’s commandments unless they had actually followed them for five years.  I am shaken to the core, thinking what they have done for me.

To J’s commandments.

Kirsty