Hey

I’ve had a good day.

I went to pétanque, and the weather w gorgeous.  I imagined that it w be rly nice down Hunstanton today, tho it w thunderstorm at noon.

We stayed for a few minutes bc this plane w due to fly overhead.  It did, it w nice.

It’s like a Lancaster bomber; literally from the second world war.  Amazing that they managed to put something together that flies like that.

I checked the girl who scammed me, and she w not the actual YouTube creator.  It w a nice fantasy that I w rly talking to her.

Like I said tho, the vibe w off, I should have been enjoying myself much more than I did.

The business is going well, I am getting closer all the time.

I’m going to have to save every penny this month, and have enough to spend on an ad campaign, using the ad created by AI; to see whether it rly has a high click through rate.

This w be key for the business.

I have also AI’s what are called psychological trigger words, for my business.  These are w I w put in ads, to make sure that I get the above result; so I’ll be running another ads w this approach also.

I don’t want to think too deeply about the business, as it is stressful.  I like things just to intuitively just figure themselves out.  Plus I’ve barred myself from working on it, when I’m not actually working on it, if you see w I mean.

I had an experience yesterday that w me questioning w someone said w w okay tho I need to watch myself doing this as some people don’t like it.

I totally lost it, taking something the wrong way, I think, that someone had said that I had thrown the game – croquet.  I w f up for a few days.

It’s a shame that every single time that someone is sensitive about something and vulnerable after having done something that has made them feel shame, that it always seems to be the case, that someone says something identical, talking about someone else.

It’s kinda laughable rly.  I even hear someone in the supermarket say they had read her mind and that it w a quid over, when I w thinking exactly the same thought.  It creeped me the f out till I realised that she w actually talking about someone else.

I’m rly leaning into this; that, every time I am feeling shame, people w comment on exactly the same thing I am feeling shame over, and Idek how they do it, tho Ik that many times it has been the truth for me.

I am drinking a beer and just thinking about my ways that c upset people should I not get a handle on them.  Ima not worry about it; like a child who hasn’t grown up yet never worries about developing their skills to that effect.

It is a beautiful world that I live in and Ik that everyone is a normal person.  I am courteous to people just as they are courteous to me, we all do it, and I rly like that.

I like that I am completely normal.  It allows me to just drop the shame.

It used to be that everyone has problems, as I felt shame for having problems.  When I realised this, it alleviated it quite a bit; now it has evolved to me just knowing that I care as other people do.

I have done my work for today, I have been around people.  My psychiatrist says that this is singularly the thing that has allowed him to reduce my medication and has emphasised that it is doing me so much good; and that I am so on the ball for making these changes in my life.

I w now go home and just chill out and put my air cooler on and relax, watching YouTube; when I have done the washing up.

Earlier on I chose to scrub a oven pan, instead of do the pots, so they w need soaking and still doing.

Everyone can make themselves better

Kirsty