Hey

I got upset today.  I had to move on the bus or I w gonna get messed the hell up w anxiety.

This man w just shooting his head in every direction perpetually, it never stopped; darting it around everywhere, the whole bus ride, till he got off; right in the seat in front of me.

I realised that I w gonna rip, to I shot out my seat and sat somewhere else.

Idk whether the people in this town are actually rude af, or if I have some kind of problem; maybe even a bit of both.

I have been down to London and have found that nobody shoots parts of their body round abruptly; like they do here, on the bus.

I also k that I have an illness, emotionally unstable personality disorder.

When I got home, I had planned to clear my bedroom, tho I w too messed up and had to be kind to myself; Instead.  I even forgot to do my blog.

It makes me scared to ever get on a bus, as it is always happening.

To be fair, I have been on a few lately w no ill effects; tho it has brought the whole thing back and is seriously no bueno; as my scooter is off the road for a few days.

Overall my anxiety is much better.  I usually am able to function when I am ripped.  I can remember my shopping list for example.  Today w no exception tho I w have got upset if I’d done my room.

In Other News

I am shocked that I only have to go through one more day before I get to have a beer down the pub; tho somehow I have to get there.  It may involve walking to town and getting the 25; as I don’t want to be upset when I drink as this makes it no point as it doesn’t feel good anyway.

The number 25 seems to be a good bus to be on, where people don’t behave this way, in my experience.

Yes, I am literally avoiding getting on a bus; of course.

I felt so much shame, like w the hell is w w me, why can’t I get on a bus, yk; tho like I say, they may actually be selfish people.

Hell; there is no shortage of selfish people on Peterborough busses, let’s be honest.  They blast music out there phones so often.

I once had a woman allowing her kids to scream their heads off so loud it w hurting my ears, and when I politely asked if they c keep it down, I feel she devalued me w the phrase, they’re kids.

Enough about the busses.

W the business, I have found out that Google are, it seems, manipulating every advertiser out there; including me.

Before I get onto that I w say what it means.

It means that I have to learn how the system works bc I have to put keywords on my landing page that have nothing to do w w I w to put on there and all to do w Google looking at my landing page and judging how much to charge me for ads based on that.  I feel that is seriously f up.

However; when I learn how to do it, I may be able to turn a profit.

In the meantime I am cheating a little and w just run ads straight to the merchant’s website as this circumnavigates their ability to inflate the cost of my ads; possibly leaving me in profit.  I have to run a campaign and look at my metrics, there.

I could have had the best converting landing page in the world, tho if I didn’t put in Googles little words that they need me to, they w I feel rip me off the ad cost.

This hit me hard and I just w so wrapped up w how unethical it w; till a couple of days later I got over it.

They say, in business that the number one ability or quality that someone needs is to eat sh’.  I have to say that this is indeed correct.  Is everyone in business as immoral as the next.

It seems, handling difficult sh’ is the making of a woman or man; not doing the best when times are good

To Eating Sh’

Kirsty