Hey

So..  I’ve been not judging; and if like someone had done something rly bad, I w not even care.

Like, this girl is trying to scam me on YouTube.  She’s having another pop at me; tho Ima not grass her up tho.

I already told the creator that she is posing as, and I never even got a response, so fill ya boots, Idc.

At least Ik that she wasn’t the real creator.  She has changed her handle.  Now Ik that that is not her.  It’s like liars who change their story; yk for real that they are not telling the truth.

Something felt off.  It w the most horrible meeting of someone on YouTube, it just felt unpleasant.

Yk, tbh, I feel that I hope that she doesn’t make any money scamming people on YouTube and has to give up.

I just had two chill hours this morning and then went down to Ferry Meadows.  It w nice.  I did some shopping on the way back.

I hope that I fall asleep this afternoon, and then am able to do some work past midnight.  I won’t work on the sabbath.

I need to send this landing page off, before they check and see that I don’t have one.

Getting this offer is crucial man.

Tbh it’s gonna be the biggest headache ever.  I’ll have to fw Google Technical Support, and, put the tracking tags on the landing page; and mess w my Google Ads account so that all the conversion measuring is set up.

I’ve done it before, and it took about.. Idk an hour or two.

Tho, then, it w be done, and Ima sit back and rake in the dough; so it’s not too bad.

That’s the thing about affiliate marketing.  It’s just sit back and let the money roll in, even when I am asleep; nice.

Yk, Ima not 👏get 👏my 👏 hopes up.

What the hell am I talking about.. like..  Ima not say it w work and Ima not say that it won’t work.

What I w say is that it w be rl nice.  I w have an income and w no longer have to worry.

Tbh I don’t worry anyways.  It’s against J’s commandments.  Tho it w mean that w mental illness, I am able to make a living.

It kinda feels kinda poetic that it c solve all my problems.

I started doing ‘permitted work’ like Idk, like three years ago.  I w work, trying to make some trash money on the side.

I always told myself that it w be my out.  It w allow me to make money; bc I couldn’t see myself working and needed to k that I w be okay yk.

I had insecure attachment, w means that I didn’t trust anyone and I thought that being supported w fall down around my ears.  It gave me hope.

I thought that I w never be able to work.  It allowed me to think that I had an option.

Like I say, I’ve been working towards this for a very long time.  Yk, if it panned out, then it w just be bc I have put in the work; tho like I say, I’m not getting my hopes up.

My job for the moment, rly is to learn that I am safe around people.  Maybe I’ve been treated horrendously, to feel that Ima not trust anyone.

Maybe I just never learnt who normal people are and w wary of them.

Either way, I rly want to be around people and just begin to not feel so much shame w|i myself; that I deserve to have a life, yk.

I thought that money w solve everything.  I thought that w w w w me w that, I just, didn’t have money.  I felt that it w make me feel like a whole person again.

I had no clue that it is self esteem that makes a person feel whole and that, w no money it don’t even matter.

Tho this is my path now, maybe and I just wanna see it through.

To Secure Attachment

Kirsty