It’s Sunday.
I’ve just been down to the shop, and got myself an air cooler; a rly powerful one.
It w hot on Saturday; and it rly took it out of me; even w my air cooler going; and it’s due to be super hot on Monday; so I bought one, special.
I’m rly excited, bc tonight at midnight, I find out whether, I w be allowed to make some money; w w be great; a little extra income. So long as it’s running ads, I should make money.
This is an exciting time for me. I have been a good girl in following J’s commandments; and I should see some reward; in the form of, yk how J says, if your father gives good gifts then think how much more you father in heaven is good at that; well I should see some actual reward for what I have been doing in the last five years; as opposed to, just feeling dope af, the main benefit of doing so.
It is such a nice time for me.
It’s kinda scary bc Ima not control what I’m doing here. I just have to have faith that everything w work out alright.
I got a notification, saying it’s gonna rain, and I thought about going out in the rain after having a beer, and that it w be super nice.
I bought myself an air cooler in 2000 or 2002; and it cost me two hundred, w is like over four hundred in today’s money. This one just cost me like fifty.
It’s humid af, and I just want to stay in front of my air cooler. It’s uncomfortable, even just sitting here, in front of my little one, writing this.
So, I’ve only had two beer this week, w is good; tho I’ve had way too much aspirin than I w like, having a headache every day, like I often do in the summer.
It’s good that it is cooler today w w make going on a walk, nice.
I think I need to get something to eat, as I nearly passed out on the way to the supermarket. Maybe a walk is not such a good idea.
It w quite scary, I felt like I w going to die; w is a feeling that I have been having all the time and nothing to bother me anymore. It’s just something that Ima deal w.
I want something to do today tho. I’m super bored and have been for like whole week. I’m scared that I’m becoming ill, as I’m losing interest in the things that I love; tho there is no sign of me having a relapse, as I don’t hear people saying the meanest sh’ to me.
The bus is totally out of the question as it is too hot, and I need to get to Ferry Meadows. Looks like I’m staying home.
It may mean that I get to live somewhere else. I so hard, want to validate what my late friend said to me, that, don’t it make a difference where you live.
We met when I was doing helping out at the sheltered accommodation lunch club. She w over ninety when we were talking and it’s rly not that sad that she has passed on. I just miss her is all.
She rly showed me that it doesn’t matter how old you are.
My friends are starting to seem more real to me now. It feels more rewarding to be around them. Tho I do long for someone who is more like me, someone Ima rly connect w.
Like I say, I’m just scared to go for a walk, incase I collapse. I feel cooped.
To Gifts From G
K
Miss K 