Hey

I’m actually quite cool, and it’s twenty nine outside.

I bought the air cooler I had my heart set on.  I bought it for today, and it’s working super well.

It reminds me of around 2000 when it w forty.  I w comfortable; and actually quite amazed at how well they work.

It cost me hella dough like five hundred in today’s money, just under.  This one only cost me a paltry fifty.  I’m absolutely blown the f away by the value.

I saw it when I w shopping in Morrisons and realised that it was probably my only chance to get one as Amazon deliveries w be delayed and I w miss having it for today.

I had kinda anxiety at bowling today.  I kept it under wraps by not worrying about it.  It made me feel so much shame to be feeling that way.

That is the operative word, shame.  I feel that all anxiety is caused by shame.  When there is anxiety, it is always there.

It w telling me that I’m a kinda person that I’m not, and I didn’t like who it w telling me that I w.  It felt horrible.

I’m cutting down on vaping.

I have realised that my anxiety is caused by caffeine and nicotine.  I don’t have much, and handle it rly well tho it does get me a little anxious.

I bet if I had a barista coffee I w be wigging the hell out and feeling like the worst type of human being available.

And I got to thinking; who the hell legalised caffeine.  Like it probably causes all the mental illnesses; and how to we choose which drugs to legalise.  Ima be real w you, it’s probably all dogma and keeping the ones we’ve already had around for centuries.  There seems to be no authenticity in making that choice.

It w require someone to weight them and deem them appropriately.  Someone w have to take responsibility for that, and I feel no one will.

So people stick to dogma, so that they don’t have to stick their neck out.  They worship the pants off it.  Heaven forbid they should have to make a choice.

In Other News

I got hit by Google Advertiser Verification.  I must have it rectified by July thirty.  They are threatening to pause my account.

I should just be able to link it to an account that has already been verified.  I might have to downgrade it to a sub account tho.  Idk whether that is possible.

Or run my ads from an already existing account.  I should probably pop in a sub account special; as all the accounts need to be separated so badly performing campaigns don’t infect each other.

I’m leaving it.  I’m a little stressed and don’t want to f my head up w it.

I must leave it like when I choose to be a good girl.  There is no compromise there.

For example.

Ik, that taking Sunday off and not working works for me, thanks to J’s commandments.  This means that if I want to leave it rn, I can do that.  If I c do it then, I can do it now.  It won’t mess my head up the fact that it needs doing and I’m not doing it.

I’m kinda gutted that Ima not do any tidying up today.  It’s just too damn hot.  I promised the girl from my housing association that I w get it done and I’m kinda unhappy that I’m not doing it.

Also, my business is actually powered by the self esteem that I get by tidying up.  It drives the business forward and is the fuel I use to stay in the flow state and crush it.

I’ve yet to check, whether my ads are actually working.  They c be positioned to rly make me money; Idk.  I just want to calm down before I have a look.  I just wanna feel alright for a few hours.

To Air Coolers

K