I am down the pub. The bar man just asked me if I w doing anything exciting today. I told him that this evening might be the time when the business is doing something. He wished me luck.
For now tho, I just enjoy a nice beer; a Guinness.
It’s super hot today, so I’m thinking about where Ima get water. I don’t want to ask the barman to have some, for my bottle. I figure Ima go in Greggs on the way home. I’m walking back from town. I carry a one Litre flask.
I w thinking that I miss the times when I c just get it from the tap. There’s a bottle filler in Queensgate, tho I can’t remember where it is.
Money’s tight, tho I have some in my Google Ads account that Ima pay for my ads w. I feel so excited that I say that it might turn into a little more when my ads go out.
Yk, this is a good time of my life. To think that I have put myself in this position, w years of work on it. That I might be able to support myself after doing like Permitted Work while having schizoaffective disorder.
To go from being as ill as it gets, to having my dream life, after following J’s commandments for like five years, a total turnaround, and me just looking on in awe.
I have to be honest, this is all G. He promises his kingdom and his righteousness, and I feel that this is it. It all makes sense at this point.
It w hard when I reached the point where I w being asked to feel my feelings, w meant judging people; and I chose to pick J’s commandments, over that.
I had all the changes that happened to me, giving me faith that this rly w a path that w continue to bless me.
It’s funny bc when I w young I rly hated alcohol. I love it now.
I keep it down to two beers a week. That means that I get that special feeling when I drink.
Also drink and the business go well together. It just gives me a moment to just sit and be super grateful for all that, essentially, I have done for myself.
I feel I grew up w an overdeveloped sense of shame, feeling that every single person on the planet w better than me.
Now I have done something that has benefited me and here I am accepting that I have done myself such a solid.
Ima rely on myself and trust myself w the decisions that I’m making. I rly am the best one to be in control of my life; and things like this rly let it show. Here I am, just little old me, forging my path.
And I have to wonder about what J says, that anyone who follows his commandments w k where they come from. This is an exciting thought.
I mean, they have done so much for me that Ima not deny it. Yk what, they have done me so well that I feel Ima just continue to follow them and enjoy the great things that they have done to me and my life.
There’s this parable of the ten minas, where this guy gave some n’as some money and went away and some put it on deposit and one just buried it.
It says to me that on receiving like hella from J, just keep on keeping on and receive a hell of a lot more. J rly is the gift that keeps on giving. There seems to be no end to what he has in store for me; and my mind just boggles at that thought.
To J’s Commandments
K
Miss K 