Hey

Back at home after quite a walk.

It’s funny that I w say that today, bc I’ve walked at least as little as half what I normally do.

All Ima think about is Google Ads.  I found the part of the book that says how to get profitable.  Anticipation, excitement, etc.

I just took my medication; for the first time today, at the lower dosage.

I feel super knackered today.  Idk why.

I bought myself some potatoes so that Ima make myself chips; for lunch.  I’ve just had some cake that I brought home from knit and natter, so I should be good for a little while.

Someone said that the city centre, and all the area around it is a total sh’ hole; in the context of each area of this town has a bad area.

This could well have been why I w struggling w feeling that people were glaring at me, bc of this.  I worked in the city centre and was walking in, and I feel that it destroyed my mental health, just the way people were looking at me.  I raised it w my team tho I just got gaslit.

I w trying to not judge, tho who do I not judge.  Do I judge the girl who said it, or judge this town as being what she said; kinda stuck, drc.  Just go forward not judging; as always.

It is stark compared to when I w a kid.  I loved this city so much.

I w asking myself if heroin has turned the entire free world into a dump.  Lots of disturbing thoughts came from that, least of all, invasion from dictator countries that ethnically cleans those who do drugs, w w make them stronger than us in battle.

Weakened, we couldn’t defend ourselves and we fell.  Ima stop it bc it’s rly freaking me out.

My mission has always been to see the world in the light that I saw it when I w a kid; and here I am being told, by a kid, that that world is no longer here.

The thing tho is that that world is here bc it is inside of me and it came from inside of me in the first place, and as I am not affected by the world outside me it w reappear; eventually.

I suppose I have also changed into more of a shady character as I have fw plenty of homeless people and drug addicts.

I w brought up to feel superior out of snottiness.  My mom w roll in her grave if she k who I became.

This insult to our town, it describes me ten years ago.  I embodied this.  I w it.  And I’m asking to be cleansed of these vibes and happy about where I live once more, a phoenix, rising from the ashes.

I experienced it somewhat as I walked past Longueville Woods.

I thought that w wealth, I could escape the sh’ness that w all around me, all the rude people and all the narcissism; and psychopathy.  The problem tho w that it w w|i me.

Wealth does nothing.  It does not change the inner state of a person.  That can only be done separate from dosh; and especially, w|o dosh.

I’ve gone down to two meals a day.

People tend to think that the wealthy are better than them.  Surely this tells you that they are absolutely not.  They dodge paying tax, the thing that supports the world around us.  It’s a bit like throwing trash in the ocean and thinking it won’t ruin our planet.

Newsflash.  We don’t have another planet to live on.  Thank you to Greta Gumburge.

The same w the rich.  If they take so much that the planet gets totally destroyed through society rotting through neglect, we don’t have another planet to live on.

Dehumanising those w|o, will not save us.  In fact it w destroy society further.

The rich can’t live off a world that has been destroyed.  It w create no money.

To Finding Self Esteem From w|i as opposed to telling others that we have more value than them.

K