Hey

I’ve just been out to the clothes bank.  People have left stuff there piled up, w means that if it rains that stuff w be ruined and someone w have to deal w it.  I just took mine back home.

I have done all the tidying that I have been told to do; tho normally, I am given a bit to do for the next visit, so rly I should pick an area and do it for next time.  I think Ik what area to pick.

I w judging this town this morning; only for about two hours.  I have to try my best to not do this.  I feel that judging people makes the situation worse and just makes me want to judge them more, and so on and so on.

If I am to be able to walk about freely w|o feeling resentful to the people of this town, then I need to not judge, even when I am at home.

I want to see them for who they are, not who I deem them to be; like I did yesterday when I w in Town.

I found Town a nice area.  Someone said that the whole area is a complete sh’ hole, tho I like it.  I want to live there.  Waterville is nice and all, tho I want to live in the City Centre.

I’m thinking of asking Google Ads Help Community, a question today.  Idk if I’ll do it or leave it till after the weekend.

If I am to do it, I must do it early, bc there w be a back and forth that lasts a few hours.

I’ve got to the point where Ima rly grill them.  This is how I used to be when I w younger.  It is only those who rly ask questions who rly k how to do their job properly.  I used to be the one who wanted to k everything.

I w put my hand up in class also and weigh in on w w going on also.  I w praised for this in a, Idk what it’s called like report card or whatever.

I think the biggest challenge for me rn, is not judging.  I feel that lowering my medication c make me want to judge people more, and this could be bad for my mental health.

This w be the main challenge I w face, having lowered my medication and the only danger.  It is a real danger, and I must be on my guard against it; worrying also.

It has made me more unstable, and I used to be more unstable when I started following J’s commandments, and I coped by not judging and worrying and this helped my mental illness, pretty much right out the get.

I used to not judge, when I left my home as it w make me feel bad; now I am planning to never judge the people of this Town.  Tho like I say, I c have done better this morning.

Judging is a difficult thing, bc it is possible to be sucked into a nightmare of a reality, where all there is is pain through judging.  I mustn’t get sucked into something like that.

I must do my level best to maintain good mental health while in this phase of my recovery.  I have to make this work.  I want to be on less, bc of less side effects and have to do my part to make that happen, make that a reality.  It is w|i my power.

I won’t be talking to my psychiatrist anymore.  He has left, Idk where he has gone.  I kinda visualize talking to him and have him saying how well I’ve done coming down on my medication tho this w never happen; only from another person.

Tho the reward of not judging itself is way more attractive than any validation.  It is such a pleasure to be out and about, and see people rly as they truly are.  Nothing feels better than this.  It is a reality that I want to be firmly rooted in.

Ik that people are the same everywhere bc people have anxiety everywhere.  If people were different in any place, the people there w not have anxiety.

To Being Rooted In Reality By Not Judging

K