Hey

Wealth has nothing to do w money.

I managed to get to croquet yesterday.  I went to Ferry Meadows in the morning, and planned it all to get back in time.

I nearly screwed up bc I w aiming to get a bus that didn’t run yesterday tho the earlier one came.

Wealth is w comes from following J’s commandments.  It is a feeling of inner value; that has nothing to do w money.

I feel I w brought into the world w the mindset that I only had value should I be both intelligent and wealthy.  This stayed w me and shaped me for most of my life.

I no longer aspire to be wealthy as a substitute for self esteem.

That is why I got into the business.  I thought that achieving the wealth and adulation of a productive business, w fulfill the way I felt I had been taught to be.  I honestly thought that it w make me happy.

I am content w how I am atm.  I love the fact that I have nothing and don’t lack anything.  I still have nice clothes, and that is all I need.  I need to express myself authentically and they allow me to do this.

I realize that plenty of people don’t care about money.  It depends on who they are as people.  Some are attracted to it and others not.  There is no right or wrong way.

It’s all about the person’s authenticity, who they see themselves as and the dreams that they follow.

I dream of creating a fuel cell and a Graphene transistor.  It w take wealth to get me there.  I don’t need wealth for my self esteem tho I don’t need not to have it either.  I am not a snob or an anti snob.

I think that’s where J’s commandments have taken me.  It’s rly through not judging that I feel value w|i myself; that whatever I have or whoever I am, I have value.  Then that value exists w|i me.

I w on the bus and it came to me; I have value.  Just bc I am alive and breathing, that means that I have value.  That’s all the qualification that a person needs, just to exist.  It w quite a moment.

I got into J’s commandments bc I had lost it about age eighteen and had spent all my life under the thumb of ASBD abuse I feel or felt.  I w unhappy and felt that I had not experienced my life to the fullest and felt that J w give me my life that I should have had, w I feel w taken from me.  I wanted to be young again.

This w at the same time that I w trying to make my business work out of some kinda feeling of grandiosity.

I now realize that following J’s commandments in life is the only thing worth having.  It is the only way of feeling that value w|i.

People talk about narcissists and how they don’t feel that value and try and glean it from putting others down.  What they don’t talk about is that there is no way of feeling that value w|o following J’s commandments.  It brings true wealth.

Just a simple thing like not judging others and not worrying and being humble and a few other things and warnings.

In fact it’s so breathtakingly simple that I am in awe that it worked.

It’s simply doing the same thing all the time.  The commandments stay the same no matter w stage of following them I am at.  That perplexes me.  They are the gift that keeps on giving.

To J’s commandments

K