I’ve hurt my leg. I w need to get the bus to my clubs.
It w hurting like a week ago; so I didn’t walk one day and it got better; now it’s back. I think I’ll have to be careful for a bit longer.
I have to make sure that I still go to my clubs, as it’s w keeps me mentally healthy.
Somehow I’ve managed to get rly present. All the worry is kept out of my mind; and judgement is something that I am managing to stay on top of.
This allows me to feel more empathy. Now worrying is having self compassion. I own that it is not necessary bc worrying is unkind. This means that I am much more relaxed bc of never being mean to myself.
It’s nice to k that if I kinda make a mistake, that’s okay. Having empathy means making them.
It’s late this morning. It’s like five o clock. I slept well last night, as I tend to do, having less caffeine.
I also wonder if I w have less nightmares, w not worrying in the day.
The thing tho, is that, I must keep this up. I have to now commit to never worrying. It’s for my mental health. I still need to make sure that I am healthy, w coming down off my medication. It’s a risky business, at best.
I feel that, just handling, when someone I feel is rude. I tend to feel that people are rude in the moment, and then later I forgive them.
This is rly important for my mental health. There is like a trip Ima go on, where I feel that people are trying to corral me into a relapse w seeking attention from me.
This is an absolute no no. I have to just let people hurt me, and move on. I must not get scared. I must ignore it. If I’m unhappy w them, that is w causes it. I get sucked into it, and then my mental health suffers.
I have even been able to handle posers on the bus. I just turn right to the window and look out and ignore them. It worked twice. Idk w the f is going on w me. I’m changing.
I suppose for a while, I needed people to pi’ me off. It w part of my self esteem. It w how I valued having worked on myself, that there w those who were just so far behind that I felt offended.
Idk whether I w ever be able to handle it. I c when I w younger, tho I w highly narcissistic, and, being more empathic means being more sensitive. It seems that it is possible tho.
There is this parable, the wicked servant.
This dude has a huge debt, and his master lets him off. Then he finds someone who owes him some and beats him. His master finds out and puts him in prison and makes him pay the whole debt.
This is analogous to the people who I feel offended by. Should I even look at them the wrong way, J would take away all the righteousness that I have, and put me back where I w like five years ago.
It’s a lot of responsibility, weighing me down.
All of w J says in the Bible, is like a roadmap of how to get there, and it is all relevant and rly useful.
I am rly seeing a lot of benefit from doing this tho.
To J’s Commandments
K
Miss K 