Hey

It’s one thirty am; the hour of the hunt.

I’ve had a slice of bread, so that I don’t wig out being hungry.  I don’t eat until six.

I got to thinking w J says.  He says, tho you are evil; and also says, why do you call me good, only one is good and that is God alone.

This kinda makes judgement ridiculous; and also the ones doing the judging of the worth of other people are the evil ones; or is that me judging too.

That’s the crazy thing about it.  Someone does something the bible says one shouldn’t do, and I don’t get to judge them, bc it’s not allowed by G.  There is no pointing to people and saying, look at you.  That’s rly using G to devalue, w is not okay.

I thought, how can I do this.  I won’t be aware of who is doing wrong.  I won’t have any sense.

This w totally wrong.  Sense is being in reality; w not judging has put me in.

G also says, first there w be agitation, then you will be astounded, then you will be king of the all.

This pretty much sums it up.  I w agitated for like five years, thinking that people were being offensive to me, and causing me massive emotional pain.

I still get a little uneasy when I am on the bus, and in public, tho.. I kinda feel that, it w all sort itself out, and I w be back in reality, as Ik it, when I w younger, when I never judged anyone.

Like, people didn’t set me off the way they do now.

My psychiatrist asked me, do I feel that my perception of people is totally correct; and I said no, I’m not really convinced of the accuracy of the things I think about them.

One thing I don’t understand, is, J says that no prophet has honor in their hometown, or in their home; tho I don’t feel like that.  I feel rly strongly that people honor me

I also don’t k what, do not throw your pearls to swine means.  I just don’t get it.  The only thing Ima think of is, don’t give to users.

I have gone into an agency; and I w so lucky.  Like he said he w help me.  I also get to do the work that I want; Customer Service.

I found myself saying, that.. well I just went for anything.  I didn’t try and do it so, I’m working w|i the hours I’m allowed.

I just got present, and did it, and it just happened; like when I bought my Honor 70 Lite.

I just went in there, and said I needed a phone, that w give me unlimited data.  That’s w he gave me, and it w the perfect phone.

I just got present, and just went in there and trusted him.

That w a crazy time.  I had lost my license, my keys, my phone, and my bank card.  It w a shitstorm sorting it all out.

The good thing w w that people were most unjobsworth, when it came to helping me, and I managed to get it all sorted out, after quite some time, mind.

I found that the best way w to, just, do whatever they asked of me, w|o worrying or even asking myself if it w the right thing to do.  Then they just trusted me, and helped me in the most bizarre ways.

It meant and means a lot to me, and always will.

That’s why I say that I have honor.  People just seem to treat me so fairly.

I get why it says that.  Last year I felt that I had no honor.  I felt that everyone w just heavily against me.  I felt like I w being persecuted; and I wanted to move out of this town.  I felt that it w happening here, and I found that it didn’t happen in London.

Ik that that is w J means when he says that no prophet has honor in their home town or in their own home.

That has changed tho.  I have my honor back.  I still feel persecuted a little, by people who are just weird around me.  I feel it’s bc of the difference in self esteem between us.

To Honor

K