Hey

I’m down Ferry Meadows, having a Coke

I feel that I have just been persecuted.  I feel that the way this works in this town, is me feeling uncomfortable around people.

J says, jump for joy, bc great is your reward in heaven; so I have racked up one heaven point, for it; and Ima spend it on getting younger.

There’s a psychological trap that I have not fallen into.  It’s being resentful that this happened and feeling that everyone is still doing it.

I learned to get out of that one the other day.

I believe that these encounters actually lengthen my telemers, helping me to age more slowly.

I w listening to Metro Station, Shake it, w I like.  It paints a lovely picture.

I feel good that this happened; and I should feel good every time it happens.  I believe that w J says is right.

I have again, been trying to not think.  I have become addicted to presence.  I deem thinking to be worry.

I have been told, that I may still be able to do some of my clubs, after starting work.  This means that I keep some of my friends.  I w also told, that I get to pick my favorite clubs.

These J commandments are not even a sacrifice; and I get to gradually feel younger and younger.

I have managed to arrange some work.  This is one of the good things that is happening as a result of all that.

It’s kinda hitting me that there may not even be any downside; and the upside is insanely good.

I also used to feel that these moments made me less attractive.  I felt like a hideous creature, when I w triggered like last year.

Tho I don’t feel that being triggered has made me unattractive.  Clearly it has helped the way I look no end in the last year.

I’m asking myself, is there any downside.  I feel that I w look forward to these times.  Could they be the powerhouse of w is driving the change in me; the change that I love more than words can say.

I used to feel defective in some way, for people bothering me w|o saying anything.

I also used to feel that I w an as’ hole for sometimes not feeling my absolute best.

This just astonishes me, as how c someone be an as’ hole for just not feeling their best.  Nobody, but nobody feels their best all the time.  Guess that one w driven by hella shame.

Shame also drove the feeling that I w hideous.

This is why learning empathy is so rewarding.  It allows me to feel the wrongness of these feelings.  It feels good.

I feel good that I never need to fear this feeling again.  That, like I say it is doing me good that it is hard to put in words.

It has allowed me to watch programs like The Order, and many things on Netflix, and just feel young.  Idk how to explain it, it’s dope af.

This healing also has the potential to just keep getting better.  It makes me feel that the only choice for my body w be to activate my Yamanaka genes, reversing my ageing process.

To Youth

K