It’s like three am. I’ve had about four hours sleep.
I’ve kinda been struggling w persecution, all day; yay.
I get outta the throws of these feelings, and realize that people aren’t the monsters that they felt like.
I think it’s bc I w ill. I had this killer headache, w w a sign that something else w going on in my body.
I did well at trying to not worry at these, this, time. It’s always hardest when persecuted. I wanted this to not damage me, and I feel that I succeeded at this.
I have to ring the TV license people. The site w not working for declaring that I don’t watch like TV. I have to tell them bc there’s a deadline on it.
I have to confess, that I felt like everyone w a monster.
This is the thing about reality. When anyone is a monster, then everyone is a monster; and if everyone is a monster, then it’s a very depressing world to live in.
It is judgement that creates all these monsters; that raises hell; and worrying.
That has changed a lot for me; seeing people as people; tho it has made me feel like people are against each other a lot w racism and stuff. I seem to be drifting into aligning w all cultures.
And then it hit me; as snow people, feel that the developing countries are like bad places; they feel that way about us.
I’m thinking about the crusades, that brought J’s teachings to us; and how that’s rly how we became the way we did, through following them.
We are ahead of the rest of the world. In like fifty years, they may respect women and have gay rights.
I heard some foreign music; and it sounded like the eighties. C this mean that that is the stage of development that they are in, at.
Mostly, I can’t stomach the past. I don’t wear Dunks, or 85’s or whatever. I couldn’t have existed the way I do now, back then. I only wear the most contemporary styles. It rly seems to be a statement that I like to make.
I get the privilege of having those, on my feet. It feels so good to be in the rn. I just love the times. That’s why I love the respect that people have for each other now; and I can’t wait for the next generation.
I must keep myself healthy, so that Ima appreciate w comes around the corner next. I’m hooked on the new new. I also fw the older generation. It’s hard when they speak against the young; as their ways are w I value the most.
This world has allowed me to heal, and it means a lot. Older people feel as though they should not ask for help; it w not their way. It makes me feel sad.
Tho, let’s look at that. Did they ask for help when they were younger. I’m sure they did; so what changed. I guess they feel that that is their way tho it is not. I feel they have created a past for themselves, that is not real.
They say, we used to just get on w it. Tho, if someone, one of their friends said that they were struggling and needed help, they w have had empathy and done w they could. That thing about the young, never changes.
In a way, the young never change, tho when older, they look back and say that things weren’t like that when they were younger; so did not empathy exist then. It’s mind bending, how times change, tho the human experience rly doesn’t and cannot.
They are the same as us. Things get easier tho get harder at the same time. Easier bc people have all kinds of support now, harder bc of how f hard it is to get through school now.
I suppose that people have this help, tho it used to be their families, and community. Swings and roundabouts.
One thing is for sure, that not moving w the times w cause disaster. And times move so fast now. My head is spinning, just thinking about the next thing to come along and how Ima keep up. To be left behind is death.
To New Times
K
Miss K 