I had trouble letting my guard down this morning. I felt that I w be in more danger of someone forcing themselves on me.
Of course this made me feel awful, and I w upset.
I feel that I made a mistake. I feel that I should have kept my walls down and just had faith that nothing w have happened. I feel that the only way Ima be in the reality I want, is to do that.
I’ve seen girls walk around who are not scared. I don’t remember the world being so dangerous when I w young. It’s rly a leap of faith.
Reducing my mental age is something that means so much to me that I’m prepared to take the risk.
It gives me comfort that all women K what I’m talking about. People say that this town is the worst place to live in the whole country. C it be bc women don’t feel safe here.
This doesn’t help me tho. I am moving in the direction of not being scared. For me, this is totally irrelevant. That’s judging anyway.
This w be a big thing for me, bc there is so much fear behind it. It w allow me to feel so much less scared. It w be a rl breakthrough.
I feel that fear is w causes people to get stuck in the adult reality and not be able to appreciate the vibes that the young feel. This should wash away that fear, and allow me to be rooted more firmly in that reality; something that is very enjoyable and w be well worth it.
Bringing that reality closer is something that I’m super excited about.
As I said before, a prophet had no honour in their home town or in their own home. This must mean that all towns have something that offends the prophet.
This w mean that no town is better than any other. I w find out. One way or the other I w find out. I must be strong; and remember that, being closed off just ruins my whole day, and it’s not how I want to live.
Something’s gotta change. I don’t want to carry on like this. I need that youth energy so that I’m competent at any job that guy gives me. I won’t have the ability if I’m all shut down. This w be the key to making that work. It all rides on this, and it feels like it.
The worst thing Ima do is do nothing. Nothing w change. Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting differing results.
I’m all in. Reminds me of Bet, great show. I get to gamble everything, leaving me feeling a lot like Umico. Winner takes all. The bigger the risk the greater the reward. Is that show real. It well is.
That’s the hard thing, seeing the message. I need to open up my reality so that Ima just feel that energy and be in that reality, and just be at peace, once and for all.
I don’t accept that it is gone forever. I felt it the other day and Ik that I am getting closer; to feeling it all the time. It’s inevitable. Like I say, hopefully Ima get in that zone, before I get the call. I just can’t live like an older person, it’s not me.
Place your bets.
K
Miss K 