Hey

Day 1

So, it worked.  I had a chat with the bus driver, and I said, Morning, to these guys.

When I got to Town, I wasn’t pi’ off.

I think w helped me when I w younger, w school.  It put me around lots of people.  That’s helping me a lot atm.

Everything changed when I started lots of clubs, bc I w able to come off my medication.

I feel I never felt the way I felt yesterday, bc I w open.  I had friends at school and siblings.  Idk.

I also have to own that it’s a female thing, feeling sexually threatened when out; and also it’s an age thing also.  Ik that kids aren’t so fearful.

It w worth betting on.  I played and won; tho this is more of a day by day thing.  I got off easy today, bc there weren’t that many people about.

I think tho if I set out, in the right mindset, it makes things a lot easier as it is more of a struggle when upset.

Ik that healing takes time and nothing happens overnight.  I feel it w being trapped w someone w ASBD as my only friend that has f me up.

It’s an antisocial mindset and I must have picked that up; hell, it must have permeated right through my whole being to my soul and made me an antisocial person to the core; even gaslighting everyone that they must be the problem, in my head; creating this evil world that justified my feelings, towards it.

Ima save some money by taking more sandwiches out w me.  I feel like putting it towards an iPad Mini so Ima start creating cartoons.  It may require something more laptop to put them together.

I still have the business.  I’ve had to let that drop while I figure out the struggles I’m having getting about.  I’m excited to run a campaign.

It’s not about avoiding work.  I need something to do that puts me around people; tho I need to work on myself and actually feel like I wanna be around them.  It may just be a case of take the leap and get to k them.

It’s a race against time to get me ready.  I have to be able to cope.  He said that it might be Customer Service on the phone.  I w be talking to people for a bit of my time so w need to be comfortable w that.  If I’m not ready, my boss w k.

There may be a zhè that I, get more connected w people, and feel like ringing him up to be like that w him.  At that point he w k that I’m ready, tho till then I have to stay the hell away bc nothing w scare him off more.

I feel I am rly lucky that I have asked for Customer Service as it is more sociable than other things, and I’m looking forward to it.

I feel that is why people have a go at Customer Service people.  They are antisocial and are actually offended by people who w w to be near to people emotionally.  They look down on it, like it’s the most ungrandiose thing available, w to them equates to someone they see as worthless.  G I feel they’re basic.

To Emotional Intelligence

K