Hey

I just rang TV licensing, to let them know that I don’t need a license.

I had reality.  That’s definitely w it w.  It wasn’t one hundo, tho it w there; and I realised that the world that Ik, back when, is still here.  It hasn’t gone anywhere.

It kinda brings back the memory again, just holding that fact w|i me.

I w having memories of reality when I w younger.  It w only memories and I couldn’t feel it mostly, nearly ever.

I just need to take a moment.

This means that J’s commandments are all worth it, bc Ik that they w bring that reality back in full.  I have been waiting for this all my life.

I feel I w in an abusive situation that w draining me of all my self esteem.  I can’t talk about it, it’s too painful.

In Other News

I’ve realised something about the business; that is that, I may be able to do demographic targeting.  W means choosing only the type of people who click on my ad, for my ads to be put in front of.

This may mean that I suddenly become profitable, bc it w lower the price of the ad.  So that’s in the works.

Idk whether it’s possible bc Idk whether they have started doing that in the UK yet.  What Idk is that technology moves fast.

I am doing well at letting people in w open body language.  This girl even nodded her head at me today w w nice.

It’s a psychological tool that I use, and it works.  Idk how it works.

When I w young I w open all the time.  I w scared that being open w allow people to use me.  I felt scared walking to town.

Ik tho, that, being open actually makes me safer; bc it puts me in a reality where I’m not scared.

It helps me keep my anxiety down as well.  I get upset by something and then I’m back up in no time, all bc of being open.  I feel that people letting me in is w cures me when I am triggered.

Just had a nectarine that I got in ASDA, I like the ripe ones; and I got this juice that is not from concentrate for like two quid w is rly good.  It has mango orange and passion fruit.

I also think that the companies asking me to work w them have gotten better; bc my blog is getting better and they are looking at my blog on deciding whether to work w me.

I have a cream tea tomorrow, tho I can’t have dairy so Idk what Ima do.  I may have to just sit there and look at everyone else eat.  That sounds bad actually, Ima have to cancel.  Idk.

I don’t eat scones either, bc they are too sugary.  The most ima manage is half a one.

And Also

Cutting down on caffeine is working very well.  I had my CBD today and felt totally out of my mind, and w getting positive symptoms, w translates to thoughts in my head, telling me to do things.  It freaked me the f out.

So I thought about the racists yesterday; and thought, yk, I kinda don’t mind being completely out of my mind.  In fact the crazier I feel the better.  That rly came in useful.  Somehow it rly allowed me to accept myself.

And then I thought that all people are barking crazy anyways, so why the hell w the fact that I w loony tunes, an issue.  Then I totally forgot about it.

Lowering my medication w also allow me to feel the ASDA vibes more as well and I might be in reality.  It c just be the drugs that I’m on that mean I’m not.  I might be there already.  Yee.

To Reality

K