Hey

It’s three forty five am, and I have my coffee.

I had this dream, where New York, w just a few meters from one end to the other, Manhattan.

I have to set up conversion tracking today or soon.  I don’t have much time bc I have the girl from my housing association visiting me this avo.  I w have to do it tomorrow.  Except I have croquet tomorrow.

I’ve been having sexist thoughts, like w if women actually have more braincells than men.

So the way it works, is that, I book an appointment; and he rings me up and does a screen share.  He guides me through the process of setting up my campaign so that when someone clicks through one of my links to the merchant, it kinda..  it doesn’t even class it as a conversion or sale, it just k that someone has been interested.

Google uses this date to ascertain the effectiveness of my landing page.  The higher my landing page score, the cheaper I w get ads.

It w be interesting to k how good my landing page is.  I w get cheaper ads due to setting up conversion tracking, and bc of demographic targeting, tho if my page converts rly well, then I w get an extra reduction.  I’m rly excited to find out how much my ads cost.

What I mustn’t do, is psych myself up that things w work this time; bc if they don’t I w be dropped from a great height emotionally, and end up crashing to the ground.

Ik that my self esteem is rising nicely and Ik that that powers my ability to work this bi’ rl good.  I have the power, as it used to say in He Man.  G I loved that cartoon.  Btw, that’s the other side of the She Ra series.

I’ve kinda found that smoking CBD is making me feel like I can’t be bothered to do sh’.  I think Ima have to keep it one sesh on that.

My self esteem is no longer tied to whether the business works and I make money.  I just don’t give a sh’ how much I have.  I am totally comfortable w having nothing.  All my needs are met and that is enough for me.

It w be nice to get a job, and have a little more.  Idk if this w be the case.  If I only have a few hours it w be.  If the hours are a lot more, I w be as poor as now.  It’s totally pot luck.

Rly w I care about, is that I enjoy my work.  I want it to add value to my life, to give me more to do in the week.

I feel like the body needs to move.  If the body doesn’t move that much, then depression sets in.  I feel that being more active w make me feel like I have so much more energy.  It w help my self esteem as well, bc I w be contributing to society.

I w have a good feeling, being knackered at the end of the day, k ing that I have worked hard.

I don’t feel that work is something to be scared of.  They are just people, like the people I fw at my clubs.  Yes, there may be the odd person there that has ASBD, sapping my self esteem.

It’s easy to spot them bc everything I say w be wrong, every single thing that comes out my gob.  There w never be a time when I speak and he/she says that’s right.  It’s so basic, it’s an easy tell.

This is where my self esteem f off to, bc I end up feeling like I have no value bc everything I say is wrong.

I dream of having a customer service job in/at a shop.  I w squeal if that happened, also if I got a customer service job on the phone.

I remember one time when I applied and the boss said to me that I wouldn’t like it.  She w just projecting her hatred of the job and miserable personality onto me.  She also lost of potential employee bc of it.  Her loss, and w such a depressing workplace I w probably better off out of it.

She w have chosen all the toxic people for her employees and it wouldn’t have been a very nice environment to be in for a good chunk of my time.  Imagine being gaslit bc of being sane, like being the odd one out bc of being mentally healthy.  That w be nasty.  I can’t even w that one.

Yes, employers reject people, as a form of narcissistic supply, and then the business fails bc they have no staff.

To Work

K