Hey

It’s all about control.  When I control my mind, I control myself from having a relapse.  It’s control in a good way.  This is why my psychiatrist speaks well of me.  It w only empathic of her to let me k, that, I am smashing it.  Tbh, I feel crazy as a guy on steroids, tho, it seems to be working

I can’t ever let worry in, bc it is rooted in shame; like worrying am I a bad person, do I need to do more.  Things get dealt w in the fullness of time.

It is all mind control; being around people, and handling it.  If I judge them, I’m done.  Things just shift, and then I get paranoid.  I guess that’s w the prefrontal cortex is for, for controlling the mind, dampening all these feelings.

Worry and shame had taken over my mind and were running amuck.  It has taken years to rein them in.  I have been following J’s commandments now for six years, and see a new me.

For a while it w all about feeling attractive; that w my focus and why I carried on w it.  Before that it w going after money.  Each thing seems to have it’s day, and then it is gone, moving on to better things.

I just want to have a life, and that means handling being around people.  I guess I have to work my way up.

It’s always just a hair away from feeling mega f up, w the paranoia of judging on them.  I guess that’s why they say that it’s difficult joining clubs.

The clubs are my life, w|o them I have nothing and can’t even sustain myself.  I w not be able to function w|o being around people.

I just heard some rly important information.  When people have an interview, they already k that they can do the job.  It’s just all about whether they can fit in.  Ik Ima fit in anywhere; well anywhere they w put me, knowing w I’m like.

In Other News

I have to learn all about Instagram Ads.  I think w Ima do is kinda build a fake website, where people look at a selection of the products; then when they buy, they are directed to the merchant.  Also kinda merge it w a landing page, and have a strong call to action.  I may ask them, please may you save this page.

Then it’s always gonna be niggling at them that they have that page to look at.  It speaks of some pretty good offers, by way of the crazy quality that runs through all the products that they do.  An ethos of levelling up is also a strong theme.  What’s not to like, or even love.  I suppose that I need to just have the faith that a good product sells itself.

It’s the landing page design.  Idk how good of a job Ima make of it on Hostinger.  I have my image for the ad.  I have my text for the ad, just need that element that w take time immemorial to build bc it’s just like I say a mini whole website.  It needs to look dope af, that’s the key or the problem, whichever angle I’m seeing it.

Idk much about Instagram Ads.  I just k that Idek why people are even clicking on some of that stuff.  Maybe Ima do better, or tbh the same, as a good converting ad.  I feel the landing page is where the magic w happen anyway.

It w show the benefits and then have a product like section w thumbnails to different products and like a faqs section.  I feel that contemporary websites do good at this, at least the ones that I resonate w.

I need to find a method of selling that resonates w me and then just do the same.  My intrinsic zhe is following w just doesn’t turn me off.  Like, there are so many marketers out there that just aren’t my thing.  I need to find something or some genius who I feel akin to in my authenticity, and aesthetic.  When I find the right thing, Ima just do it that way

To A Healthy Mind

K