Hey

My reality caved in this morning.  I w applying for work; and I got rejected bc of my psychological questionnaire.  I felt that w it, and I w meet that every time.  The world felt so f up.  Like how c people reject me, bc of just being different.

That’s why my answers were different, bc I am different.  People need staff so badly.  Every single business out there is understaffed; and  I felt we had them flagrantly rejecting me bc I’m authentic, and c do the job standing on my head.  Like I say, my mind caved in.

My nurse w the one to save me.  We talked and then everything seemed alright.  I w going to her for nourishment, of the mind and soul, and she delivered.

I also feel it’s racist, bc these tests are skewed away from other races.

I have predicted two things to be banned, Wonga and Pronto.  I feel this has seen its day also.

I also felt like the one in eight who aren’t working, are probably suffering from just being locked out of employment bc of their personalities.  They’re just young, and the test doesn’t k the hearts of the young and can’t test for them, I feel.  It doesn’t k who it is testing.  And c it be that the people who designed this test, don’t like the people they are excluding, and that’s why the test filters them out that way, like some kind of freudian slip.  They like good little soldiers, or something like that, I feel; people utterly blinded by dogma.

So, I framed it like this; that it w me who w filtering them out.  I’m scared that I w run into this a lot, tho it does get, I feel, people who dehumanise those who don’t pass the test, like they have no value as human beings or something, out of my universe.  Disgusting, I feel.

Designed by some kind of anally retentive dork, as a way of snakeishly getting rid of the baddens, I feel.

Has society lost people, employers, who can ask their staff, please may you do it this way, and expects people to k a job they haven’t done yet, before they start.  Ima stop this bc I feel I’m right.  That smacks of psychopathy.

In Other News

I need to ask my friend to print off a return label for me.

So, w the business, I had this thought.  I c go to Shoutcart, and look at influencers that match the type of business that I am promoting, in terms of how they approach, w is the thing the company thas that makes it valuable to them.

Influencers that hype up products for the same reasons as my selling points may convert better, w means sell better.  I feel passionate as ever about doing this, and feel I w continue to do this for ever until it works.

Later

Just got back from croquet, and then went to pick my parcel up.  I w free from anxiety more today.  It w rly nice.  I w able to enjoy croquet more.

Normally, when I’m there, I’m kinda panicking a bit.  I have to make sure that I don’t think any thought, or it ruins my game.  Today, I didn’t want to think any anyway.

I think that’s the key.  I’m just better at not thinking now.  It’s not as much of a struggle.

It feels so nice to have the pressure off a bit.  The other day I just felt like I w gonna get taken advantage of again.  It w horrid.  Idk if things kinda ebb and flow, or c it be that I am in a new reality now that is better, and more chill.

Walking home, I felt like I w on my way home to have dinner, like when I w a kid; it w nice.

I’ve gone from feeling bat sh crazy, this morning to this.  It’s a huge change, and I wonder if it w applying for work this morning that made the difference.

If so, I definitely need to carry on w it.  I need this feeling, I want it to be my new state of mind for good; nothing else w do.  It’s the best.

That’s all there is in life, for me, feelings.  Life can be hell or heaven, it just depends on feelings.  Feelings are the only thing that matters; not money sex or anything.  Obs, work is one of those things that matters, tho only bc it provides the feelings.

To Feelings

K