Hey

It’s five am, and I have my coffee

I’m scared I w never be able to get a job, bc of the psychological questionnaire.  It feels evil.  I feel that people w psychopathy, want everyone to be carbon copies of themselves, and this is how this feels.  I feel not even worthy enough to get the most basic job.  I feel worthless.

Ik I must keep going tho.  Ik that I am more chill bc of doing it, and anxiety is something that I want to live w|o.  I have my man at my agency too.

It feels like society is trying to rob people of their self esteem, depending on w they do for a living, and even tell many, that they are too worthless to work.

I feel it’s protection.  I feel that social levels, aka narcissism, is how educated people stay in jobs.  That they w feel threatened if anyone c snatch their job; so society has all this bigotry built into it and levels of worth depending on w people do for a living.  That’s how they feel safe, bc they feel better than those under them.

This is, through narcissistic supply, damaging the self esteem of people in the lower rungs of society and keeping them there.  Society has told them that they are not worthy of progressing.  I feel it keeps people trapped in low paid jobs, emotionally.

I have almost always felt that university is an institution to keep people out, not headhunt people in.  It is so gruelling, specifically, to make sure that it keeps people out.

I feel that actually w they are filtering is peoples’ empathy, that only those that w torture themselves w make it.  They don’t just want anyone getting in, I feel; happy to go through all that bc they are one of the chosen ones, ergo grandiose.

I feel employment is the same, w all these devaluings of the staff under them to make sure that they better not think that they are worthy enough to threaten the jobs of their betters.  I feel sick around it.

The only issue I have w that, like I say, is that it keeps people trapped from moving up, bc they feel worthless, and progressing is all about mindset.

I feel that these psychological assessments are one of these devaluings, to make staff more psychopathic or only choose those who are more psychopathic on that scale; those who follow the system like it is God or something, worshipping it, and watching the news like it is the pinnacle of morality.  Notice, if the educated own morality, then everyone else has less value.

Like I say, I feel w|o snobbery, other people w compete for their jobs.  It gives them that edge.

Tbh, anyone c walk into a catalysis lab and start doing research.  A four year study is completely irrelevant.  It’s for the emotional safety of those who doing those jobs, I feel.

I feel that social levels depending on w people do for a living are a complete joke; and that anyone c do any job, w very little training, is the truth.

What matters is self esteem, it’s w gives people the power to move up, and that is w our betters are doing, they are crushing it so that they are emotionally safe, I feel.  I feel it’s sick.  Crippling the ability of all people in all jobs to function.  That’s why people in all jobs can’t do them, I feel, bc their self esteem has been stolen; and I rly feel that all employment in general is about taking peoples’s self esteem.

The problem is that it’s counter intuitive.  When people can’t do their jobs, it’s bad for the country, we all suffer.  When people won’t get trained to do new things, we all suffer.  There are shortages of all the genres of employment, and people don’t feel they have enough value to get trained.

Also the trainings are too gruelling bc the people feel that they have to feel they are better than those who con’t do the job, so the training is extremely harsh, I feel.  👏 People 👏 need 👏 self esteem, from w they do, and that means that they have to take it from others.

Basically, everyone is a self esteem parasite.  That’s why I felt offended at all the posers.  I feel that all their self esteem, they have stolen from others and were trying to steal it from me; someone who’s only mission w to feel like a worthwhile human being, smacking down those who can’t get a foothold in this life, I feel, stealing it from the most vulnerable, like parliament stealing from the most vulnerable in society to fund a f war.

If people are to feel better than others, then the most vulnerable are always the target, I feel; evil.

And that’s why I feel these psychological assessments are so evil, I feel they truly put the most vulnerable in their place, the uneducated.

To Internal Self Esteem

K