I’m down Ferry Meadows. All the runners are down here.
I just moved. Idk why, tho I couldn’t write anything, when these two people came and sat down. Ik that when I moved it w be okay; and it is.
My whole reality has changed. When I w young, my self esteem, came from studying hard and feeling that I c, based on my grades, get a good job, learning w I needed to k, along the way.
Now my value is my self esteem. I feel that self esteem w take me where I want to go, and I w do well in life bc of it.
There needs to be a lot of faith around this kind of living. It’s rly believing that it w come. Tbh, a lot of the time, I feel that it is here already; the way people usher me across the road, the way all my friends treat me like gold, like I have some kind of innate quality that is rare.
I w watching this make a pop star thing, on Netflix; and one of the judges said that she has identity, w is something that all the others w kill for. She seemed to be the one who had the most inside that w gonna make it easier for her.
It’s a new era, and it’s new rules. I have to tune into w w get me where I wanna be. A lot of it is on Netflix. I watch that stuff and I kinda k that I have that zhé factor.
It’s rly coming to me as, to be real, I become less demented, through following J’s commandments. I get younger and younger, in the things that Ima appreciate; rly getting absorbed into this new generation, new rules thing; learning as I go w matter and w is of value.
The value is coming from w|i. As I follow J’s commandments, I find more and more that is of value, that is just kinda the way I am, qualities that are hard for me to put my finger on. They are more emotional. It just feels that I am becoming the person I need to be.
I’ve got to be honest, y’all. It’s a very slow progress; tho the awareness that I am becoming, and that it is happening, is there. It is just enough along the way to validate w the f, I am doing here, and to give me the faith and desire, to want the hell out of this. I get just enough, when I need it to keep me going.
A slow process. It takes years. It’s better to just sit back, and say that it isn’t happening yet, and it won’t happen for a while.
People even treat me so well, that, I just am confused by J, when he says that a prophet has no honor in their home town and in their home. Whatever this quality is, this zhè factor, it is making me popular. It’s like watching the blooming of a flower.
If I stood there and waited for some kind of sign, some kind of change, well I w get depressed; and I’ve been there. I’ve suffered great emotional pain, at expecting things to just shift, right out the get.
Tho, slowly but surely, it does bloom; in time; and it w continue to bloom, as long as I follow these commandments. I w fifty; am I fifty now, I’m not sure. Idk what age I am. If someone asks me, what do I say. If I say I am fifty, is it a lie.
Why does it have to be how long I have been on this earth. Why is society so basic. We are entering a time, when we are more likely to say the age we identify as. Idk what that is either. Older people have a wisdom that makes them very appealing to be around. The young have an energy that is undeniable, except to the older.
J says that anyone who follows my commandments w not taste death. There are now six anti aging cocktails that reverse physical age, probably, a lot more; tho this is not how I feel it w happen.
My belief is that the body, actually, w has been proven, has anti aging pathways. I feel that these can be activated, purely, by the person, having the right psychology.
There is the theory, that people kill us. That we only live as long as we are accepted, and when we go against all other who live, that is when we die. As we age, we become detached from the young. We drift away from them, and they are those that give us life. Does this result in death. It is the body’s way, of just clearing away those who just don’t fit in anymore and can’t function.
Some organisms are eternal. They don’t die. Maybe death evolved out of need, tho there is no need for it anymore.
It is not death that interests me, tho it is life. I am moving towards life, not away from death. Is not the rose, as its peak, when it is in full flower. Will I be at my peak. Will the anti aging pathway turn itself on when I reach this point, my ultimate goal of youth.
I w still have all the experience of an older person, tho my body w heal. It has been shown that organs heal, under its influence. I should look like a teenager. The thought tantalises me; tho the goal is rly just to be the best version of myself.
I w never confident as a youth. Do I get a do over. I feel I already have one. I have changed and I get to live in my new reality and try and make it work in a new way. Ever changing and ever interesting.
In Other News
People wonder why there are no aliens. They forget that they are evolving at the same rate as us and have only had the same number of years to get our level. C it be that earth is ahead of all the rest. C it be that evolution is at a set pace, and that all planets evolve at this pace, and that they are just all like us, wondering whey we have not visited them.
To Major Head f’
K
Miss K 