Hey

I had knit and natter.  It w good.

It reminds me of, when I used to go church, when I w a kid.  It w so nice being there.  I hated the service, it w so boring, tho being w all the people afterwards w nice; and we used to have like everyone take a dish thingy as well.

It proves that I am moving more into reality; and that as a kid, I w sociable, even tho I feel I w in a heavily abusive situation.  I guess I had youth on my side.

Getting a job, is something that is making me feel scared.  When I w a kid, I worked at ASDA.  I had to listen to miserable ladies, moaning like f, and I left.

I’m thinking that a supermarket w be the same and that I w hate it.  One thing I hate is people trying to bring others down w their moaning, and people hating on people, w is gonna go on a lot.

I have the option of doing slightly different jobs, like in shops instead.  I feel I have to start at the bottom, so w need to do something that I dislike for a while.

I remember the parable J said, like, when you go to the banquet, sit on the lowest seat, so that the host, invites you up to sit in the place of honour.  If you sit in the place of honour, you will be told to sit somewhere else and the only seat available w be the lowest seat.

I feel that I w have to get the lowest job, and then I w get promoted up to something rly high.  I honestly have faith in this.

The very lowest job of all, I can’t get, bc I can’t get past the psychological questionnaire, so I’m not even gonna bother.  These are the jobs I totally hate, bc of being around hateful people, I feel, so it works out well anyway.

Idk how to do marketing for Insta.  I feel that there is no set pattern that works for good ads; that the only thing to do is try sh, and see if it works.  I’m okay w this.  I don’t have much ad money tho, so it may take some time, unless Ima break even a lot, and send the money straight back in.

I have a page on Unbounce, showing the best landing pages for Insta, so I should totally take a look.  I want to k, if my landing page w work well on there.

It said that a good landing page, w increase conversion, and a sloppy one, w decrease it; sloppy, messy, whatever.

I needed to sit w this for a while, and kinda forgot about the page.  It w, like I say, be good to see if the pages have like a common theme or something.  I’m kinda stalling tbh, I should go ahead and run it.

I think that’s the secret, just running new campaign after new campaign, and just one w work and then scale it so it brings in good money.

Tbh, I’d much rather do this than work.  Like I say, it’s gonna mean being in a job, that I find total hell, bc I rly don’t have the right to ask for anything better.  It w be sweet af, if my first campaign took off, and I didn’t need to.

Honestly, there’s been kinda a reality check, and I rly don’t wanna do it.

Ima then use the fact, that I’m running a successful business, as a qualification to do something better.

I still need to be around people, I just don’t wanna be somewhere where I don’t like them; bc that kinda defeats the purpose of me being there in the first place.

I also feel that those people won’t respect my boundaries, so there is no way that Ima open up to them, or even actually talk to them, mostly.  Sucks.

It’s good tho.  It gives me something to do in the morning, when I’m doing out of my head w wanting to so something.  Also, the business w do the same.  It seems now that it’s just grunt work, so Ima just plug away at it.

I’ll sorely miss the people I fw.  I have just gotten close to them, and some clubs w be over.  It w be good that I w only be part time to start off w.  It kinda fw my head tbh.

I finally get close to some people, after a lifetime of ASBD abuse, I feel, and being triangulated away from anybody who feels emotion, and it ends.  I just want it to go on.  F this.

To New Beginnings

K