Hey

it’s three forty am, I have my coffee.

I w thinking, that if people have no job, and they stay at home all the time, it’s only natural that they’re gonna think about death.

I have had to stop feeling upset on here; bc, when I do, it kinda kills the energy of my day.

One negative thought can start a nosh, where people start to leer at me, I feel.  I feel it has enough of an impact on me to be important.

I had someone call me, absolutely beautiful; this w nice.  She looked pretty dope, herself.  She also said that she liked my jacket.

I did all the stuff, when I got home, that I needed to do.  That meant that I had not forgotten to brush my teeth.

I rly have been blocking all thought out of my head.  I noticed myself doing this yesterday.  When I w at croquet, this w not a problem, as it helps me to play a much better game.  When at home tho, it feels kinda weird.  It must have worked tho, bc I fell asleep.

Is that rly how it works, J’s commandments lead to not thinking at all.  That’s the thing that kinda confuses me.  Like the bible says, do not worry, it does not say, do not think.  It works for me tho.

I walked past some school kids, on the way home from Ferry Meadows.  There w like three classes of them.  W hit me like a ton of bricks w their positivity.  They were literally buzzing like f, w positive energy.  It w so nice to be around.  They wanted me to be their teacher, alas, I w not.

Like, I noticed that they have way more positive vibes than kids of a slightly older age.  It seems that kids start to judge, even from that age.  It’s fascinating.  It’s like that w them at their most positive.

I felt like I w easily find a job.  I just felt so confident, being around that energy.  I felt like a teenager, who c just walk into any apprenticeship; and I said right there, to not worry about it.  I w just call on that energy every time that I felt it a challenge to stay positive; that memory.  There w be times when I definitely need to do this.  I thought how lucky those teachers are, to be around them all day

It’s good that Ima cultivate youth energy w|i myself.  That is one way of having it, the best way actually.  I so need to be like that.

That’s w I’m aiming for w|i myself, to be that positive, that joyous, to not have anxiety anymore.  It rly showed me w being healthy looks like.  Now I have something to put on my vision board.

I w also stop feeling scared.  I remember when I w young, not fearing anything, except the monsters under my bed.  I had such a strong faith that life w give me w I need.  That’s w made me so happy.  It w looking forward to all the good things that life has to offer.

I remember looking through the catalogues, at the furniture I w have when I w older.  It felt amazing.  I w, like I say, just full of positivity for my life, going forward.

It’s crazy, how it’s possible to just exist, w|o feeling scared.  Just this incredible faith that everything w be alright.

I feel that, should I hang in there, I w get to that vibe.  I remember when I thought that opening up, w lead to exploitation; it didn’t.  I w like feeling like I w one crazy bi’ for considering it.  It’s kinda the dame gamble w feeling, like, if I just ignore my worst fears, I w get to the point where they just kinda fade away, and then I’m in that reality.  That’s w that reality is, it’s just the absence of fear

Fear causes so much dysfunction in peoples lives.  It is called insecure attachment and leads to all the f up behaviour of a pathological narcissist, needing to suck the life energy out of people, leaving them feeling bad.

If I have the well of life, w|i me, I w never need to garner that feeling from others, it w be w|i me already.  I guess that w make me popular.

I guess that’s where the feelings of lack come from, that lack w|i; and when that source is there, just everything seems right, there is no need bc the biggest need has been met, the need to feel full feelings.

Feelings are the only thing in life that are, is, worth having.  They are why people get depressed, lack of feeling.  It is why people get sad, it, like I say, is why people feel that things won’t go their way.  It is, they are, the very reason why youth felt so good.

Standing in my way is just fear; should I not listen to it, Ima break through to the best reality.

As a female it’s challenging, bc emotions are so strong, and fear is one of those emotions.  It’s like swimming against the tide.  It’s like everything in my being is telling me to stop bc it’s unsafe.  Ima see why nobody but nobody makes that transition.  People just get older and more scared, give or take.  Nobody moves backwards.  It’s like a solid wall that cannot be gotten past.

To my knowledge, no one has ever broken through it.  That is my goal, to smash through and raid the loot of the pirates treasure.  Hopefully if I do it, then others w see that it is possible, and follow.  I just already see it happening and will others to do it too.

I don’t want kids to lose that energy, like they w when they get to their teenage years.  How c I will on them to get older, I don’t want that for them.  They w go through the same process that I went through when I became a teenager, and my world fell apart.  It’s just wrong that this happens, it’s not necessary.

At that age, there is not much work to be done in following J’s commandments.  The person is so healthy that it w only just take a little work to keep that energy.  w me, my energy w totally lost and it took years of work to just get where I am, and I am still not there.  I want to catch them where they are.

Why are these commandments so taboo, they come straight from heaven.  I want the world to accept these teaching, like they accept that crossing the road can be dangerous.  I want to show them the goodness w|i them, so that they can be so tempted that they take a look.  👏 I 👏 want 👏 to show them.

To The Well Of Life

K