It’s almost three am, and I have my coffee
I just wanna say a big thank you to everyone who has liked my posts. It means a lot that people like my content. It actually increases my self esteem, that my stuff has value
Beer w one hundo a success yesterday. I w buzzing for like two and a half hours, and nothing brought me down.
In response to this, I might actually, not have one on Sat. I feel the buzz is better, the less I have per week; I still have my CBD doob to get stoned off.
I’ve had to make sure that I have it every day, bc my CBD plasma levels are rising, and it becomes one hell of a hit.
That has also been a huge success. Not having coffee has decreased my anxiety levels, a ton.
I want to, this morning, look at the reply to me not being able to use my payment method for Meta. It kinda puts me off, tho I must just, like Nike says, just do it.
Idk how long it w take the agency to find me work, tho it’s this time of year that tons of it are available. It’s bc of the supermarkets taking people on for Christmas. I got in there in 2003, when I w studying for my A Levels, for Tesco.
It w a rly good job, and I enjoyed it a lot, tho I w be on the checkout this time probs.
It w mean being on the busses this time tho, maybe, w I don’t like. Hopefully they w be a whole lot more chill, bc everyone w be on their way to work.
I’m still having these fantasies, where I have a go at someone, and must rly realise that if I do that, I w be busted right down to where I w when I started this whole J process. It blows my mind, tho for my sake, I must believe it.
It’s in the commandments that this w happen. I just need the faith to accept it. It’s growing in how freaky these commandments are, the more of them that I accept.
In Other News
A lump of concrete fell off my washing machine.
There w always this problem where it w travel around my kitchen, even on 400. I nearly rang them up, tho I never. There is free guarantee on parts. If something goes, they w send someone and fix it free; w actually I feel is dope af.
Ima take them up on that, and tell them that something has fallen off, and that’s probs why, it moves around so much.
I always suspected it. I guess my boundaries w get better as I realise that it’s okay to ask.
Talking of asking, I have to ring the dentist today, bc my tooth is hella painful. I must use what I learned yesterday and value myself enough to make that call.
I bit on bread, and then there w so much pain. It has hurt ever since for hours, and then when I drink water.
I have learned that these metal fillings tend to crack the tooth apart; I w recommend composite. In the UK, I have to pay hella for that, tho it’s my choice to do so.
I’m literally here after years of abusing my mouth, trying to save my teeth. I w always fall asleep before cleaning my teeth. Now, when I get home, it is the first thing I do, after taking my pills; and then I do my Brant Daroff, w is important.
Unluckily, I w never in a healthy situation, I feel, where I could learn to do this stuff when I w young. Tho it makes me feel super good that I am doing it now, in light of that.
I feel like I’m just starting out in life, as when I w young I had failure to launch. Super sad, wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I w kicked out of a job when I was a teen and my life went south.
I loved the vibe of when I grew up, tho I feel it w a bit callous, looking back.
I totally reject the past; that’s why I won’t wear like 85’s or anything. I don’t like trainers w the old fashioned, like trim on them, tho I do have a 70’s jacket.
I remember as a kid, feeling so alive. I’m so sad that it fell apart. Like I said many times tho, I feel that it happens to all kids, and that’s something that I’m trying to stop.
If Ima follow J’s commandments and get that vibe back, Ima let them know. At least they then have the option of following J’s commandments to keep it. It’s super important, there is nothing that w replace feeling alive.
That’s my mission. It just seems so wrong to me.
To The Vibe
K
Miss K 