Hey

I’m thinking about anger.

I remember how, though not worrying about anything, I eventually felt like there w nothing to worry about.  I already feel the anger subsiding; and feel that soon there w be nothing to get angry about.

This pertains to triggers; like when people are doing the stuff that I rly don’t like, I just feel that I won’t be angry anymore; I feel that the anger is causing it.

It’s not a hard thing to admit; Idrlycare.

I’m thinking about the job; that, I just, mustn’t worry about it even once; bc that w fluff the interview.

I judged yesterday, and that’s.. Idk..  at the time, I thought, this is rly bad and can affect my self esteem.  Now today, I just feel that, it’s okay and hasn’t changed me at all.  I seem to be on top of things still, and it hasn’t affected my power.

That’s w I need, my power.  I need for things to be skipped.  When I arrive, most things go out the window.  It means that the focus is on me, and my needs.

My dad said that, in an interview, it’s as much you interviewing them, as it is them interviewing you.  I feel already that I have found the right place.

I feel that the application process always filters them out; like, most of them have assessments, that are so hard, I can’t even get past it; and I feel this is due to their narcissism.  That is not the place for me.

This one had an assessment and it w rly easy.  It didn’t expect me to be a f rocket scientist.  If they don’t like me, they have ways of keeping me out; works for me.

I found this rly poetic, and quite serendipitous.

I had two gangsters walking past me this morning, and they were talking some quite violent stuff.  I don’t like to think that we have gang crime in this town, especially gang war.

People seem to be open around me, and that goes for everyone, even the evil.  I learn a lot.  I guess I’m just lucky.

W is a funny way of putting it, bc it rly erks me.

I’ve had some CBD; I’m not drinking today.  I told myself that Ima have loads, tho I need to k my limits.

I’m thinking Ima save up for a couple of months and then do some shopping.  That’s w I did last time, and it worked rly well.  Yk, tbh, alls I wanna spend money on is Instagram Ads.

There w this block of flats.  And I w living in the best place to live in Peterborough; and I tell myself that if only I c live there, I w feel okay in myself.

I didn’t know where I lived w the best.  I feel I w suffering some very bad emotional abuse, kinda a lifelong thing, tho it had gotten worse when I spent more time with my abuser

What if I heal, and then realise that w I have rn is the best of my life; and all the time I w thinking, if I had this or if I had that, things w be perfect.

I need to heal the person w|i.

I’m still trying to increase my Neurones to a kids amount.  I feel this w happen when all the anger is gone.

It’s better to concentrate on things that are more immediate, like how much better my life w be when I start working; and what’s more, is that, I w be around tons of people who have been selected by they match my own moral standards.  I should make a ton of friends who might actually be my tribe.

The immediate, rly, is just the next thing that I have to get done; like I have to ring the washing machine people.

It’s amazing how doing the things that need to be done can change my life, like brushing my teeth and taking my pills and doing my Brandtt Daroff exercises; getting the washing up done, etc.

Thinking about that, I got asked to mop my floor and I have..  I have this problem when I don’t have the tools to do the job.  Somehow it slips my mind perpetually.

Like when I didn’t have a lightbulb for my bathroom.  I kept forgetting to put one in.  When I bought one, it w in the next day.

It’s the same w the mop heads.  They never arrived from Amazon.  And, that I had to do it, w just not on my radar.  I’ve decided to use the speed mop, so that should be getting done soon.

To Not Getting Angry

K