Hey

It’s four thirty am, I have my coffee

I w in absolute agony last night, w my head.  It’s still giving me fairly painful twinges.

Being ill, had made me feel that Ima struggle to find my place in this world.  Ik this is not true.  I must wait for my peace to return.

I w thinking about how they put the anti aging genes, into a virus, and put it into someone’s eye, or an ape’s eye.

W Covid, the virus got out and spread through the entire world.  C this happen w this anti aging virus.

Ik that the whole world is evil, tho how evil am I.  I studied Chemistry.  Plastics are now everywhere, in the water.  They have been found in someone’s brain.

I wanted to work on antipsychotics, tho now I feel they are evil, and gave me schizophrenia.

Can’t we use Kevlar as the main plastic.  I feel it’s biodegradable.  Maybe it contains BPA, tho.

I feel that, if I wanted someone to work on a biodegradeable plastic, I w have to do it myself.

I couldn’t be bothered to cook yesterday, tho I did have a cooked breakfast.  I w like to have a cooked dinner today.

I’m hoping that this illness doesn’t last very long.  My temperature is down to thirty seven.

I feel my true reality starting to return, where I just feel that Ima have a good life; and that self esteem w take me to where I wanna go.

It just came over me, all of a sudden.  Like, everyone treats me like a princess, and I should extend myself the same courtesy.

I need my life to be this amazing story of recovery and making a life at my age; starting out, and smashing it.  I wish to prove that anyone can do great things at any stage of life

Hopefully, I’ll be able to have my beer today; might need to get the bus to town, I’m not up to walking.  Just wanna get back on that horse, yk.

I’ve just put the oven on, I can’t miss out on my breakfast, it provides me w valuable nutrients.

I feel my sanity coming back online.  I don’t wanna worry about anything too deep tho, like the business or whatever.  Like I said, I had unleashed a sh’ storm tornado.

I feel illness is serious business.  I feel that I c make myself very ill, by trying to do more than I am capable of, like there’s rly risk of death, by just trying to carry on as normal, or at least, that c have happened.

It made me insane.  It made me feel that the world w a very dark place.  It’s good to be back to normal.  I suppose that w the fever, Idk.

I now have faith in everything I’m trying to do here.  Like, I need to take my life, and make the most of it.  I have all these goals that I want to fw.  The main one is to just not judge people.

I have found that that has been the most dopest thing that has happened through all this, not judging people, and a rly gift that I get to keep and take w me.

Ik that these commandments work, and that they are rly powerful.  They have changed me so much, intrinsically, at the most fundamental level, the actual person that I am, like made me more doper.

It’s kinda scary, being dope.  Like, I w never like that when I w younger and Idk what that looks like rly, it’s rly a journey of discovery.  I suppose the unknown w always be a thing.

To Getting Back On That Horse

K