It’s midnight, I have my coffee
Knit and natter today. It’s rly nice to have something to do.
I just wanna point out, that the better jobs, don’t have these assessments to get through, it seems. Neither does, going to an agency.
I’m actually gobsmacked, that not judging is the way. Like, not thinking about how toxic everyone w, w the way to mental health. It astounds me.
At the time, it felt like putting myself in danger, and I can easily see how I c feel that this is wrong, and not understand the reality. That’s it in a nutshell, that I didn’t understand the reality, therefore it w hard to do, hard af.
That rly is the problem, not understanding the value of it, until having done it for years. It’s not rly until the last little bits of judgement are or were, out of my mind, that I c see. The judgement had blinded me to the value of not judging. It’s a bit like Fersha, the destroying angel; once in, there is no escape.
It’s the feeling that death, is a living, breathing entity, that consumes people.
And also, that, following J’s commandments is just like this all powerful antinosh, like antinosh serum. That it is so powerful that no noshes can rly take hold. It uses the power of G, and therefore cannot be beaten. That there is nothing more powerful than G. So, rly I am on the side that wins.
Hitler, definitely had a good go, at defeating G. He wasn’t rly that evil. He w just a person w ASBD, as many people do. I feel that they are all the same. They just have different authenticities. Some want equality, some fight against it. They are as different as snowflakes.
I feel that w rly became evil, w the whole country, everyone drunk on the sh that he w saying. It’s so sad how people can be led when they are evil, I feel. It’s so scary how violence gets out of hand so quick, w the anger that fuels it, taking off like a rocket to hell.
I suppose that one c say that he manipulated everyones’ anger, and just played them into rage and kept them there until his work w done, until the world was kinda destroyed. That aspect of human emotion scares me.
I am scared for something like that happening again, a war. I feel people are emotionally unstable.
It’s very much a nosh, w both sides escalating w rage, flaring up like a wildfire, and just consuming lives; so evil.
As an alien, looking at primitive humans, we rly are just monkeys, where the emotions that regulate us from malfunctioning, can actually be used to destroy all of us. It’s a barroom brawl on a global scale.
I remember watching brawls as a kid, and thinking, can they rly be just, all hitting each other, that’s wac. I’m kinda sitting here, doubting w I remember, tho it rly was like that.
That’s what I want, the world, through the eyes of a child; to have that perception. I feel we are all mad.
I thought that, being in that reality, w erase my boundaries, and that I w be easily manipulated. That w wrong. I now k that it makes me more less likely to be played. There’s no one smarter than a kid.
It rly was, all along, me just giving myself permission, to be this person; letting go of the fear of being this way. How c being somekinda way, so empowered, be so scary.
It reminds me of something said in one of my Krsna books, how this dude AC Bhaktivedante Swami Prabhubada, said that, it’s like medicine. It tastes rly bad at first, and then becomes palatable; realtalk.
Like, me walking around, looking like a twelve year old, in a world of adults. I’m in. Idc if they lock me in a lab, it’s just gotta be done. Imagine all this adult bullsh, on the news; this kid who became young again, and these adults trying to declare me incompetent. Sounds like a party.
Like, I be applying for my drivers permit, and they be all like.. and I be like, I’m f fifty, excuse me please, and pulls out the drive.
This is w I’ve been waiting for all my life. It w worth the sh storm of an existence up till now. Now I get it.
To Declaring Kids Competent
K
Miss K 