Hey

I’m down Ferry Meadows,  having CBD.

I feel I’m getting persecuted.  So these guys have been kicked out by their girlfriends, and I kinda feel like they’re taking it out on me.  I feel like dealing, is giving me wide set eyes.  I feel the shape of my head changing, as I deal w w I feel after feeling they were rude.

Obs, Ima not judge.  I’m thinking of the parable of the wicked servant, and w his victim w going through when he was wicked to him.

Ik I used to be them.  Ik I have been forgiven for all that.  I also k that G w punish them if they spoke to me out of turn.

I think I have to separate me from them; like they have all this sh going on w them, and I’m just not like them.  I should let their problems touch me, or allow it into my world.  To me, they kinda don’t exist.

I must not condemn, bc J warns of this, he says, condemn and you will be condemned, judge and you will be judged.

I feel like I’m going through the hottening; that all hot girls go through, where it just feels like everyone is taking shots.  I remember this post on Tumblr, where she says that one of the girls who used to bully her, said she w hot.

That’s where wide set eyes comes in.  I feel it’s part of the hottening.  Like my mind is developing the ability to handle this sh, and it is changing the shape of my face.

I feel that this is the mother load of all rewards in heaven, I feel it inside.  I feel this w be the onset of reality, that Ik when I w a kid; in that Ima no longer judge anyone.

I take note that J says, do not resist an evil person.  If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer them the other.  I’m taking this to mean that I w not get tortured every day, it’s like a one hit deal, not terrorising me, endlessly.  I feel this means that it’s over.

Tbh if I think what is a great reward in heaven, I w say, just looking years younger, like I’m twenty or something; and feeling it too.

Ik not to get upset by now.  I remember the last comment saga.  That w w I finally realised that judging is just not any part of reality.  It has no bearing on w actually happened at all.  What I originally thought w an insult, I then felt w actually, being valued.

I’m wondering how long this w go on for; bc if it continues, then it w mean that I have the biggest stack of rewards in heaven, ever.  Like anything I had ever wanted w be mine.

That’s rly what I’m going for tho, to get this anti aging hedgehog pathway stimulation.  It is the prize of all prizes and no one on Earth has ever gotten it; and to be honest, these comments aren’t even that upsetting or bothersome.

I have faith in it now.  I feel it’s just racking up the gifts, like in the parable of the ten minas.  I am responsible w a few things, and then J gives me more to be responsible w; and my rack of minas just grows.

This means that I have to be responsible w it; I can’t say anything back.  Like, the commandments I see is.. treat people how you w want to be treated.  Back then w I w wac, I wouldn’t have wanted anyone telling me that.  I have to honour that, this commandments mean a lot to me.

Tbh, it is a lot of responsibility.  I owe it to this, to pay it real reverance; and remind myself that these persecutions are not hurting me; like I see how self destructive it w be, to break the commandments.

Like I look at what I deserve.  Do I deserve to be punished or do I deserve to reap all the booty that G.. w give me every time I experience this.  It’s kinda scary.  I’m scared of what is on offer, it’s got to be like huge, I’m quaking at the power of G; it’s very just scary, tbh.

I suppose it’s like that Umeco thing, where I place my Bet, and just see w happens.  Ima tell myself already.  This whole fear of like bad sh happening w just go away, and I’ll be asking myself how this c have been so easy, just make the choice and that’s it; it’s literally over the next day.

I Love J’s Commandments

K